There lies a time where you are what you are. A time where you relax with little care about the world of the future nor the world of the past, and focus on the world of the present - more importantly the world of fun. A time where your actions define your self, your speech defines your thought and your appearance defines your facade.
And in such a time we all once existed. Men in a carefree societal relationship. A simplistic one, but certainly an enjoyable one. And when one stays in a web such as this, one tends to do as the Romans do. And so did he; swear, be violent occasionally, sleep and skip work, and many other actions defining the norm.
Till elements change, there lies a social inertia which people do not tend to overcome. But elements do change, or life will never progress. And amongst the individuals, some stand out.
Take the poster boy; the respected senior and role model to three-quarters (make that five-sixths) the school, respected peer and person to look to when you need help (Be it essays, CIP, more essays or perhaps even psychiatric counselling - he's part of that group, after all) and pretty much well-liked by the peers, the girls, the teachers.
Really, quite the respectable figure. Always said to be someone the school is proud of, someone the school would love to portray to the world outside, the kind of 'someone' that would be put on the frontline of shows, armed to the teeth with comebacks, replies and the occasional epistemological quote.
Aims? Of course he went high. Harvard, even! Of course aims are even better if they are fulfilled (Or perhaps they are even worthless if they aren't!) He got in, even!
Now of course, people don't lead perfect lives. If they seem to, Murphy's law comes into motion. If it doesn't... well, ignore that. Murphy's law always comes into motion, whether by divine or governmental intervention. And if you ever heard anyone go in wonder about how he failed to get a scholarship, then remember that Zen is always at work.
Avid thinker, fluent speaker, awesome instrumentalist, cool dude, smart guy, the like. A deserving member of the first, they call him. Setting out into the world bravely like the scholarly global leader he was groomed to be.
But at that very point where the road took the crooked turn, he took a turn for the better - and joined the new world around him. A new time. A time where your actions and speech define your facade and your appearance defines your self.
And when he finally steps out of the school, his feet feel light. Just lighter, perhaps, but an improvement in any case. Now, he thinks, he can stop being the poster boy. Now, he thinks, he can rest and be himself.
Now, he thinks, I can get out of that accursed place and stop following them.
And when he steps out, he'll understand just how far a stepping stone can bring you.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
Memories of OM
I remember in P4 when a friend talked about it.
"Hey Herrick, hey Yu Min, why not we try and make a group and join this? My bros do it in Secondary school and it looks so fun!"
Try we did, with parents joining in to convince the formation of such a group. But as always, it's never easy being the pioneer, and evenlessso to get the chance to be one. Two years pass.
I remember in Sec 1 when the teacher came through the door and just went "We need two more people. Is anyone up for this?" And I joined with another classmate who quit pretty darn early on. I recall the feeling of a vehicle breaking on the day itself due to a bad practise run the day before. While a year or two later I hear that even if such problems contested in got first, the likelyhood is that they will not get any international credit - it does feel like a waste.
Give a few (Well, quite a few, just not a year) and an actual team forms. My first experience overseas as a student. I see the students from my old school in their own teams; no doubt things start with time. Everything flies through me so quickly that really, I can't remember much.
MONTFORDDDDD MONTFORDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD~~~
That I can remember at least.
One year down, a friend and I go as spectators and watch the glorious victory of our past teammates. I remember feeling happy for them as they got the Silver medal, of which a premature team failed to get.
One more year down, I recall a statement that opportunities must be given to others. A year I didn't bother.
One final year down before the future. I go down with my friend again, now a coach. I see the Div II Teams doing so wonderfully, and I see the spectators around supporting them, all faithful men from past and present. I sms their teacher coach about their wonderful performance, sincerely believing that they will get world champions. I see my friend put on antennas like the kids' parents did and make fun of him for it, teasing his closeness with the students he coaches. Him and I go over to see the Div III performances.
I have never seen as many strangers of this up till now. It is much of a shock. I see people pointing at my friend's antennas and speak to themselves, laughing silently at themselves and likely going 'what kind of idiot is he', and wonder to myself what reason was it in them that drove them to want to come over in the first place if just to watch two performances and screw the rest. I wonder to myself what reason it was that drove them to even watch the two performances which they would have never done in any other year.
I think back to the Division II teams. It really is much too different.
One year into the future. I sincerely hope I do get the time to coach like my friend. It feels far more in the spirit.
"Hey Herrick, hey Yu Min, why not we try and make a group and join this? My bros do it in Secondary school and it looks so fun!"
Try we did, with parents joining in to convince the formation of such a group. But as always, it's never easy being the pioneer, and evenlessso to get the chance to be one. Two years pass.
I remember in Sec 1 when the teacher came through the door and just went "We need two more people. Is anyone up for this?" And I joined with another classmate who quit pretty darn early on. I recall the feeling of a vehicle breaking on the day itself due to a bad practise run the day before. While a year or two later I hear that even if such problems contested in got first, the likelyhood is that they will not get any international credit - it does feel like a waste.
Give a few (Well, quite a few, just not a year) and an actual team forms. My first experience overseas as a student. I see the students from my old school in their own teams; no doubt things start with time. Everything flies through me so quickly that really, I can't remember much.
MONTFORDDDDD MONTFORDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD~~~
That I can remember at least.
One year down, a friend and I go as spectators and watch the glorious victory of our past teammates. I remember feeling happy for them as they got the Silver medal, of which a premature team failed to get.
One more year down, I recall a statement that opportunities must be given to others. A year I didn't bother.
One final year down before the future. I go down with my friend again, now a coach. I see the Div II Teams doing so wonderfully, and I see the spectators around supporting them, all faithful men from past and present. I sms their teacher coach about their wonderful performance, sincerely believing that they will get world champions. I see my friend put on antennas like the kids' parents did and make fun of him for it, teasing his closeness with the students he coaches. Him and I go over to see the Div III performances.
I have never seen as many strangers of this up till now. It is much of a shock. I see people pointing at my friend's antennas and speak to themselves, laughing silently at themselves and likely going 'what kind of idiot is he', and wonder to myself what reason was it in them that drove them to want to come over in the first place if just to watch two performances and screw the rest. I wonder to myself what reason it was that drove them to even watch the two performances which they would have never done in any other year.
I think back to the Division II teams. It really is much too different.
One year into the future. I sincerely hope I do get the time to coach like my friend. It feels far more in the spirit.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Vivo Vixi Victum
Vita: A cup of lemonade, mister? Fifty pence a cup, and with the how weather I'm sure it's well worth it.
Albert: A fair worth, little miss, I suppose I will buy one. The sun's blaze and the rain's coolness seem more in dissonance than in harmony as of recent.
Vita: Indeed, these days people feel more up and down too. You think so?
Albert: Definitely.
Vita: And it seems that mister, you yourself are amongst the crowd in feeling as such, aren't you?
Albert: ...haha, is it that obvious? Well then, little miss, any piece of advice for this poor ol' man here?
Vita: Hmm. Do you believe in God, mister?
Albert: Not nearly as much as He would want me to.
Vita: It really was more of a random question, actually. What would you do if God gave you lemons?
Albert: Well, I dunno. 's there a good answer to that? God gave you lemons and not sweet apples, so that's how it is, right?
Vita: No doubt, I guess. But still, there're those who say that they'll make lemonade out of the lemons. There're those that say to plant the seeds in the ground and make a enterprise out of it. There're those that say to go and find apples by yourself. There're those that say that they'll make apple juice and have everyone figure out how the hell they do it. Then there're those who say that they'll go find a new God.
Albert: That's new. Finding a new God?
Vita: Haven't heard anyone successfully doing so, though. All they get stuck with in the end is tired feet and untouched lemons. Here's another thing then. How's this cup of lemonade seem to you? How much does it hold?
Albert: Half empty?
Vita: A pessimistic one, aren't you? The sort who thinks that it ain't good 'cause it's only at the halfway mark. Half of it is gone. In some cases maybe more, since the mouth is usually wider than the base, too! But that's no reason to treat it as a bad drink, is it? I'd be pretty depressed if my customers threw my drinks away because of that.
Albert: What would you suggest then, little miss psychiatrist?
Vita: Top it up with a small ice cube, of course. Still half empty, isn't it? You aren't going to drink the ice anyway; well, at least you don't seem the type. Yet it seems more full, and it tastes more refreshing in the end. An illusion, you might say. True on some cases, But I doubt it can be considered such a bad thing. It's up to you to find such stuff, isn't it? 'course, that's if you see it half empty, of course. Drink it up. Isn't it refreshing?
Albert: Given the weather, why wouldn't it?
Vita: Haha, that's true. Now look at this other cup, then. What do you see it as? Still half empty?
Albert: Well, what if I saw it as half full, then?
Vita: I doubt it'd be much of an issue there, would it? A half full cup is a good cup in any case. But that breeds a sense of idleness. All's right with the cup, you say. It's half-full, after all. Then you drink it and find that to your surprise half the cup's worth was missing! Reality's a bastard; half full or half empty it's a half anyway. Tricking yourself into thinking it's more without any actual action on your part is just asking to get mocked at by fate.
Albert: What would you suggest I do, then
Vita: You see the half cup's worth of lemonade? What did you think of it? Half full? Half empty? Think of it as both half full and half empty. You get a full cup that way.
----------------------------------------------------
Severe need to rewrite the ending properly bugger you midnight
Albert: A fair worth, little miss, I suppose I will buy one. The sun's blaze and the rain's coolness seem more in dissonance than in harmony as of recent.
Vita: Indeed, these days people feel more up and down too. You think so?
Albert: Definitely.
Vita: And it seems that mister, you yourself are amongst the crowd in feeling as such, aren't you?
Albert: ...haha, is it that obvious? Well then, little miss, any piece of advice for this poor ol' man here?
Vita: Hmm. Do you believe in God, mister?
Albert: Not nearly as much as He would want me to.
Vita: It really was more of a random question, actually. What would you do if God gave you lemons?
Albert: Well, I dunno. 's there a good answer to that? God gave you lemons and not sweet apples, so that's how it is, right?
Vita: No doubt, I guess. But still, there're those who say that they'll make lemonade out of the lemons. There're those that say to plant the seeds in the ground and make a enterprise out of it. There're those that say to go and find apples by yourself. There're those that say that they'll make apple juice and have everyone figure out how the hell they do it. Then there're those who say that they'll go find a new God.
Albert: That's new. Finding a new God?
Vita: Haven't heard anyone successfully doing so, though. All they get stuck with in the end is tired feet and untouched lemons. Here's another thing then. How's this cup of lemonade seem to you? How much does it hold?
Albert: Half empty?
Vita: A pessimistic one, aren't you? The sort who thinks that it ain't good 'cause it's only at the halfway mark. Half of it is gone. In some cases maybe more, since the mouth is usually wider than the base, too! But that's no reason to treat it as a bad drink, is it? I'd be pretty depressed if my customers threw my drinks away because of that.
Albert: What would you suggest then, little miss psychiatrist?
Vita: Top it up with a small ice cube, of course. Still half empty, isn't it? You aren't going to drink the ice anyway; well, at least you don't seem the type. Yet it seems more full, and it tastes more refreshing in the end. An illusion, you might say. True on some cases, But I doubt it can be considered such a bad thing. It's up to you to find such stuff, isn't it? 'course, that's if you see it half empty, of course. Drink it up. Isn't it refreshing?
Albert: Given the weather, why wouldn't it?
Vita: Haha, that's true. Now look at this other cup, then. What do you see it as? Still half empty?
Albert: Well, what if I saw it as half full, then?
Vita: I doubt it'd be much of an issue there, would it? A half full cup is a good cup in any case. But that breeds a sense of idleness. All's right with the cup, you say. It's half-full, after all. Then you drink it and find that to your surprise half the cup's worth was missing! Reality's a bastard; half full or half empty it's a half anyway. Tricking yourself into thinking it's more without any actual action on your part is just asking to get mocked at by fate.
Albert: What would you suggest I do, then
Vita: You see the half cup's worth of lemonade? What did you think of it? Half full? Half empty? Think of it as both half full and half empty. You get a full cup that way.
----------------------------------------------------
Severe need to rewrite the ending properly bugger you midnight
Monday, April 07, 2008
Creativity in a new economy
What do you want to grow up to be? Give a few years back and everyone in this little dot would want to either be a lawyer, doctor, or engineer. Move a few years forward and the last one changes to something more biotech-related.
How much has changed? How much can be changed? How much should be changed?
There is certain relevance in a particular link shown by a friend on creativity in our society and its relation to education.
Within the school itself, focus is placed on specific areas where students are expected to do well - a holistic education is given, no doubt, but how far does it cater to the needs of the student? There will always be a duality of comparison and individuality - or perhaps it is just that the way certain schools are run people get the impression that there is consumer sovereignty (should there be?) in such a corporation.
It is no surprise that if the best students are put through a test, the results would prove to be among the best. As long as the test is capable enough to discriminate between people of differing skill levels, it should be an expected result that the best would end up the best in any given exam capable of distinguishing between the good, the bad and the muggers. For any school aiming to prove itself to be up there as far as academic achievements are concerned, getting the best students are the natural way to go - on occasion being even more important than getting the best teachers.
How far does this fit in with the mission statement and intentions of such a education system, however? As discriminatory as it might feel, it's sound logic that a school of the best would have the mindset of the best - general superiority. It's a natural phenomenon that occurs in any case of extreme meritocracy (Purely armchair theory, of course. Humans aren't that hopeless) which needs to be prevented by the second course of action - getting good teachers.
Now the contradiction in intentions is evident between the corporation that wants fame and the idealistic policymaker at the very top which dictated how things -should've- been done, due to the fact that good teachers tended to side between one category or the other, and also due to the fact that good teachers that fit in both categories tended to be in severe scarcity AND happen to be bad in other categories, in the end scoring the trademark phrase of The Apprentice.
...'cept they're not really apprentices, of course.
While it is quite obvious that idealistic policymakers do not tend to actually run the education system hands-on, it is nonetheless of note that the extent at which their counterparts exist is shockingly huge. To a school which intends to score well in statistics, they will do so - even if they can only do so by survivorship bias. Such a mentality is rather unforgiving on anyone who's a late bloomer - being forced to drop subjects you love because you're not good at them, being forced to take subjects you hate because you're good at them (Who knows? Maybe it's just that you can mug.)
Of course, there's the saying that prevention is always better than stopping. And that's what happens here and there. People can't take researches on things they would not be as learnt on - the effort is not worth it, even if you would make that effort because you know, you like it. Is it so mentally inconceivable that someone likes a subject he doesn't do well at? Perhaps it is instead that your preconception of the criterion to like a subject has been skewed by meritocracy!
The fear goes further. The rate at which university degrees are hitting the market are soaring high, and where now-Bachelor's Degree holders in Life Sciences were once led to believe that the end-point of a Bachelor's would net them a good and interesting job in researching, instead they now find themselves being stuck to washing test tubes while PhD holders do their diligent work. Perhaps in the future something past the Post-Doctoral Degree can be created. Perhaps people will get a PhD at the end of 5 years. Perhaps everyone will have at least a Master's by then.
All this leads somewhere. Would a child that stopped drawing at 8 be able to draw as well at 16 as one who consistently practised? It's a matter of talent, some say. But isn't it just as much a matter of mindset? A person sent through a math course in university and forced to excel in it after failing H1/SL math might very well lose his talent in writing - purely because he gets wired to think in a way so strongly that he has forgotten how to think like a writer. What if this goes on to age 21? What if this goes on to age 30? 40?
There is a certain focus that starts from young and ends at old. What you do at 8 affects what you do at 16. One single choice at the start of your first year in Secondary School may very well affect your mindset towards any similar choice six years down the road at the endpath of JC. Sometimes it's not so pronounced, like going into GEP for 3 years and getting kicked out after that. Sometimes it's rather big, like failing to get deferment to train for the Olympics and instead going for NS. Sometimes it's just downright absurd.
It's a vastly humourous thought and an equally frightening one when a teacher makes a comparison between any school with the one from Dead Poet's Society. It is also one that can be very easily sympathized with.
Have we geared people too much down a straight path? Is it the fault of the school or the fault of the government? Is it purely an issue of life? After all, in any developed culture with a structurized education system there tends to be a hierarchy of subjects in terms of importance. It is clear who are the victims. Who is then the scapegoat?
In any case, blaming the right party is not of any severe importance. It is instead an act of stepping up - against conformity and societal norms - that can get something done. An amusing equation from a contact's PM comes into mind:
Life - Dreams = Job.
Why is this so? Have we developed into a society where the words 'Dream' and 'Job' can never come together anymore?
There is a danger to a knowledge-based society - knowledge exists in niches. Where there is a demand for a given knowledge there will be a supply for it - even if it is inefficient as far as pure utility in any given job is concerned. Such an economy, after all, cannot be built upon authors. Not in any place on Earth for the next few years, at the very least.
What can be done? What should be done?
Likely, neither question can be answered satisfactorily. Yet one thing is clear. There is certain danger in engineering people to suit you.
And there is even more danger in engineering people to suit your prediction of the future.
How much has changed? How much can be changed? How much should be changed?
There is certain relevance in a particular link shown by a friend on creativity in our society and its relation to education.
Within the school itself, focus is placed on specific areas where students are expected to do well - a holistic education is given, no doubt, but how far does it cater to the needs of the student? There will always be a duality of comparison and individuality - or perhaps it is just that the way certain schools are run people get the impression that there is consumer sovereignty (should there be?) in such a corporation.
It is no surprise that if the best students are put through a test, the results would prove to be among the best. As long as the test is capable enough to discriminate between people of differing skill levels, it should be an expected result that the best would end up the best in any given exam capable of distinguishing between the good, the bad and the muggers. For any school aiming to prove itself to be up there as far as academic achievements are concerned, getting the best students are the natural way to go - on occasion being even more important than getting the best teachers.
How far does this fit in with the mission statement and intentions of such a education system, however? As discriminatory as it might feel, it's sound logic that a school of the best would have the mindset of the best - general superiority. It's a natural phenomenon that occurs in any case of extreme meritocracy (Purely armchair theory, of course. Humans aren't that hopeless) which needs to be prevented by the second course of action - getting good teachers.
Now the contradiction in intentions is evident between the corporation that wants fame and the idealistic policymaker at the very top which dictated how things -should've- been done, due to the fact that good teachers tended to side between one category or the other, and also due to the fact that good teachers that fit in both categories tended to be in severe scarcity AND happen to be bad in other categories, in the end scoring the trademark phrase of The Apprentice.
...'cept they're not really apprentices, of course.
While it is quite obvious that idealistic policymakers do not tend to actually run the education system hands-on, it is nonetheless of note that the extent at which their counterparts exist is shockingly huge. To a school which intends to score well in statistics, they will do so - even if they can only do so by survivorship bias. Such a mentality is rather unforgiving on anyone who's a late bloomer - being forced to drop subjects you love because you're not good at them, being forced to take subjects you hate because you're good at them (Who knows? Maybe it's just that you can mug.)
Of course, there's the saying that prevention is always better than stopping. And that's what happens here and there. People can't take researches on things they would not be as learnt on - the effort is not worth it, even if you would make that effort because you know, you like it. Is it so mentally inconceivable that someone likes a subject he doesn't do well at? Perhaps it is instead that your preconception of the criterion to like a subject has been skewed by meritocracy!
The fear goes further. The rate at which university degrees are hitting the market are soaring high, and where now-Bachelor's Degree holders in Life Sciences were once led to believe that the end-point of a Bachelor's would net them a good and interesting job in researching, instead they now find themselves being stuck to washing test tubes while PhD holders do their diligent work. Perhaps in the future something past the Post-Doctoral Degree can be created. Perhaps people will get a PhD at the end of 5 years. Perhaps everyone will have at least a Master's by then.
All this leads somewhere. Would a child that stopped drawing at 8 be able to draw as well at 16 as one who consistently practised? It's a matter of talent, some say. But isn't it just as much a matter of mindset? A person sent through a math course in university and forced to excel in it after failing H1/SL math might very well lose his talent in writing - purely because he gets wired to think in a way so strongly that he has forgotten how to think like a writer. What if this goes on to age 21? What if this goes on to age 30? 40?
There is a certain focus that starts from young and ends at old. What you do at 8 affects what you do at 16. One single choice at the start of your first year in Secondary School may very well affect your mindset towards any similar choice six years down the road at the endpath of JC. Sometimes it's not so pronounced, like going into GEP for 3 years and getting kicked out after that. Sometimes it's rather big, like failing to get deferment to train for the Olympics and instead going for NS. Sometimes it's just downright absurd.
It's a vastly humourous thought and an equally frightening one when a teacher makes a comparison between any school with the one from Dead Poet's Society. It is also one that can be very easily sympathized with.
Have we geared people too much down a straight path? Is it the fault of the school or the fault of the government? Is it purely an issue of life? After all, in any developed culture with a structurized education system there tends to be a hierarchy of subjects in terms of importance. It is clear who are the victims. Who is then the scapegoat?
In any case, blaming the right party is not of any severe importance. It is instead an act of stepping up - against conformity and societal norms - that can get something done. An amusing equation from a contact's PM comes into mind:
Life - Dreams = Job.
Why is this so? Have we developed into a society where the words 'Dream' and 'Job' can never come together anymore?
There is a danger to a knowledge-based society - knowledge exists in niches. Where there is a demand for a given knowledge there will be a supply for it - even if it is inefficient as far as pure utility in any given job is concerned. Such an economy, after all, cannot be built upon authors. Not in any place on Earth for the next few years, at the very least.
What can be done? What should be done?
Likely, neither question can be answered satisfactorily. Yet one thing is clear. There is certain danger in engineering people to suit you.
And there is even more danger in engineering people to suit your prediction of the future.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
いらっしゃい アイの庭, 今はここで おやすみ
未来（あした）は あなたが, 笑顔になるそんな世界へ・・・さぁ・・・
-------------------------------------------
Remember the times where you were just a little kid? I'm sure some of you do. The kind of happy life where you run around like a little kid (How apt) and be happy and the like. Relaxing on Saturday morning and lying around at home like the little kid you are.
Remember the times where you wish you would grow up? I'm sure some of you do. The time where you wish that you could quickly get out of the prison of Eden. That beautiful garden. Join the world of the adults so close yet so far. See the world from your parent's eyes. Be like your parents.
Remember the time when you actually grew up? You see the world in the new different light. A new world. What triggers this? Going out with friends frequently? Entering a new school and making new acquaintances? Leaving the nest of the previous school? Adolescence? Love? Hatred? A new worklife? In every case, the change of life around you. The gradual adaptation of a more rigorous schedule for you.
-------------------------------------------
さよなら アイの庭, 誰もが皆 旅人
未来（あした）は あなたが, また一歩踏み出せるように・・・さぁ・・・
-------------------------------------------
Every single day is monotonous to some. There's a lack of distinct motivations. What keeps them going? The fact that they've gotten so used to it they can pull it off without even feeling the need to be motivated to keep up?
Really, at times I'm not too sure. Sometimes it's the very fact that it's so darn busy that you can manage to focus on the very task at hand and end up doing well for exams and the like. I know at least one person whose power level is inversely proportionate to the amount of free time he has, ironically implying that he does better when he has less time to study.
It's no paradox and can be easily explained, of course. While I don't know if I fall into the above category, I do recall an interesting statement said to me earlier on.
"Hey, I just remembered you're one of those sad people without any free days."
I just realized at that point of time that he was right. And the scariest part was that I had seemingly assumed subconsciously that everyone else around was bogged down with a relatively tight schedule like me, going out pretty much every day whether to school or to church or to play (well, this is rare) or for other stuff like camps or work or projects and the like.
Really, it actually didn't occur to me that others had full free days. (I know he doesn't read this, but I apologize for saying the prior statement. It really wasn't a pun.) As much as I tended to complain to others whenever they talk about having free time and the like, it never went into my head that they actually had something called free time.
It's really quite the queer epiphany to have and I can't exactly figure out whether this is a good signal or a bad signal for me. You think?
Well, maybe you don't think. Nevermind about that, then.
-------------------------------------------
おかえり アイの庭､ いつもここで 待ってる
未来（あした）は あなたの 夢に届くそんな世界へ・・・きっと・・・
-------------------------------------------
Truth is that the three choruses appearing here and there are in the order 1,3,2 instead of the standard one. I sincerely have no idea why the chorus goes in the order of "Welcome", "Welcome back", and "Farewell" but slowly I think I come to understand.
誰もが皆 旅人
Everyone is a traveller, moving on from place to place. Soon enough this place will be gone, and the time we think about now flowing so slowly will be thought of in nothing but sepia.
Why is routine so psychologically routine? Why do people find themselves stuck monotonously in a cycle of seven? Why is it so taxing? More importantly, why is it so hard to escape?
Why so, even when everything keeps flowing and the cycle disappears before you know it?
It's 41 before. I question the usefulness of it all at times.
-------------------------------------------
Are these the best days of my life? Has it passed already? It is a pity I shall never know until it is too late.
さよなら アイの庭, 誰もが皆 旅人
未来（あした）は あなたが また一歩踏み出せるように・・・さぁ・・・
未来（あした）は あなたが, 笑顔になるそんな世界へ・・・さぁ・・・
-------------------------------------------
Remember the times where you were just a little kid? I'm sure some of you do. The kind of happy life where you run around like a little kid (How apt) and be happy and the like. Relaxing on Saturday morning and lying around at home like the little kid you are.
Remember the times where you wish you would grow up? I'm sure some of you do. The time where you wish that you could quickly get out of the prison of Eden. That beautiful garden. Join the world of the adults so close yet so far. See the world from your parent's eyes. Be like your parents.
Remember the time when you actually grew up? You see the world in the new different light. A new world. What triggers this? Going out with friends frequently? Entering a new school and making new acquaintances? Leaving the nest of the previous school? Adolescence? Love? Hatred? A new worklife? In every case, the change of life around you. The gradual adaptation of a more rigorous schedule for you.
-------------------------------------------
さよなら アイの庭, 誰もが皆 旅人
未来（あした）は あなたが, また一歩踏み出せるように・・・さぁ・・・
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Every single day is monotonous to some. There's a lack of distinct motivations. What keeps them going? The fact that they've gotten so used to it they can pull it off without even feeling the need to be motivated to keep up?
Really, at times I'm not too sure. Sometimes it's the very fact that it's so darn busy that you can manage to focus on the very task at hand and end up doing well for exams and the like. I know at least one person whose power level is inversely proportionate to the amount of free time he has, ironically implying that he does better when he has less time to study.
It's no paradox and can be easily explained, of course. While I don't know if I fall into the above category, I do recall an interesting statement said to me earlier on.
"Hey, I just remembered you're one of those sad people without any free days."
I just realized at that point of time that he was right. And the scariest part was that I had seemingly assumed subconsciously that everyone else around was bogged down with a relatively tight schedule like me, going out pretty much every day whether to school or to church or to play (well, this is rare) or for other stuff like camps or work or projects and the like.
Really, it actually didn't occur to me that others had full free days. (I know he doesn't read this, but I apologize for saying the prior statement. It really wasn't a pun.) As much as I tended to complain to others whenever they talk about having free time and the like, it never went into my head that they actually had something called free time.
It's really quite the queer epiphany to have and I can't exactly figure out whether this is a good signal or a bad signal for me. You think?
Well, maybe you don't think. Nevermind about that, then.
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おかえり アイの庭､ いつもここで 待ってる
未来（あした）は あなたの 夢に届くそんな世界へ・・・きっと・・・
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Truth is that the three choruses appearing here and there are in the order 1,3,2 instead of the standard one. I sincerely have no idea why the chorus goes in the order of "Welcome", "Welcome back", and "Farewell" but slowly I think I come to understand.
誰もが皆 旅人
Everyone is a traveller, moving on from place to place. Soon enough this place will be gone, and the time we think about now flowing so slowly will be thought of in nothing but sepia.
Why is routine so psychologically routine? Why do people find themselves stuck monotonously in a cycle of seven? Why is it so taxing? More importantly, why is it so hard to escape?
Why so, even when everything keeps flowing and the cycle disappears before you know it?
It's 41 before. I question the usefulness of it all at times.
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Are these the best days of my life? Has it passed already? It is a pity I shall never know until it is too late.
さよなら アイの庭, 誰もが皆 旅人
未来（あした）は あなたが また一歩踏み出せるように・・・さぁ・・・
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