The Other Side

Kuro: Is it only on such a night that we would converse like this?

Shiro: Perhaps so. But I'd put the blame on you anyway.

Kuro: For what?

Shiro: Being an annoying person who refuses to show himself in the day, that's what.

Kuro: You know me. I can't do something like that.

Shiro: And what makes you think I can do the same for night? I'm bearing with you here, you know?

Kuro: I completely sincerely apologize for that, then.

Shiro: Thanks. It's been a great year, hasn't it?

Kuro: Indeed it has. To be able to meet you at last. Though I probably could have lived perfectly fine without ever meeting you at all.

Shiro: Indeed the same for me. But encounters always brighten up the life of anyone, do they not?

Kuro: Perhaps for you it does. Someone like me is more accustomed to solitary night.

Shiro: That's no nice. Kinda like you to ruin the fun in stuff, isn't it?

Kuro: And kinda like you to ruin the golden silence and beauty of it all, isn't it.

Shiro: It really has been annoying to see your side of things, you know that? Maybe I'm staring to turn into you as well. Emo freak.

Kuro: At least I know I won't be turning into one of your kind as well, huh. For once I'm rather thankful for something like that. Though I have to think pretty hard to think of anything worth being thankful for.

Shiro: Man. Hard to believe it, huh. Despite our complete oppositeness we still seem to gel so well with each other.

Kuro: Indeed. We have to thank her.

Shiro: She gave us the ability to see beyond the horizon. See the other side.

Kuro: See the other world which we'd never thought of, never seen before.

Shiro: I wonder what my life would be if I'd never met her, never met you? Would I still eternally remain the self that I had been? Would it have been a good life? Or would I have eternally been blind, like what you called me?

Kuro: At least I know what mine would have been like. One without illusion or ideal. The coldest truth, the sharpest knife, to carve away the farce in life. Nothing to stop me from seeing what is. But perhaps the pot calls the kettle black; perhaps I was just as blinded as you had been.

Shiro: In everything, joyful as it was, if I saw deep enough, I would see you.

Kuro: In everything, despaired as it as, if I saw deep enough, I would see you. Do I see you because you exist, or do you exist because I see you? I wonder at times.

Shiro: I see you in everything. Must you exist in everything? Was there - will there - ever anything that was devoid of you; of me; of either of us? I wonder too.

Kuro: But in the end, at the conclusion of the year, I realize that where I could only see with my eyes I could now see with yours. Perhaps that is worth being thankful for.

Shiro: Of course it is. And despite the thanks, there still lays the despair of having to see things from the other end.

Kuro: Indeed. but in the end, it has been a good year, for I was able to see you.

Shiro: It has been a good year.

Christmas

This year I finally learnt a lot of stuff.

I will never get used to not being able to spend Christmas with my extended family. It's honestly rather painful. It's a world apart from me. And I will never understand how people can spend Christmas bumming around at home. I guess it's my upbringing.

Carolling has been an important part of my life for these seasons as well. Having nothing to do with any choir performances in December is honestly rather painful (I didn't actually realize that I repeated words so I'll keep it as is) especially given the fact that I actually practised the song only to find out I would be in the Highlands during the performance date. Gosh.

Even though there are friends and people around whom I dislike and think are absolutely retarded at times, there're all the other times where they're awesome and hilarious and generally good buds to hang out with. That's why they're my friends. And that's why I love them in any case.

Even though sometimes life doesn't seem to give you what you want, it just means that you'd have to go find your way around not slacking on your ass and hoping it would come for you.

That sometimes you have to say 'yes' to doing something new. That bad results don't necessarily follow doing things out of the comfort zone, out of the status quo.

That I am truly a blessed child.

It has been a good Christmas, if only for one thing.

Thank you.

Cameron Highlands

And I have finally returned from the Cameron Highlands >_>

To be honest, it's like a land of tea and sceneries and nothing much apart from that. And summore got two bugger cousins (one in a very annoying sister-you'd-never-want-to-have manner and one in a disturbingly cute imouto-you-would-consider-having manner) who keep going kor kor this kor kor that. Only one of them says it nicely though. DAAAAH I think I shouldn't write such things. Ah well >_>

Personally though looking at them I wonder what the hell Sis' kids are gonna be like in the future. In fact, I don't even know what genders they're going to be. It could be twin boys (AAAAAH NOOO) or twin girls (Awesome but painful) or one of both sexes (ultimate in terms of awesomeness and probability)

I'm pretty glad for her, really. Though the thought of two babies running around in my house (my mom wants to take care of them and considering my sis and Sooi Yuan it's a very smart decision) sometime next year is a very scary thought. Imagine after NS they'll be like

Child: KOR KOR (climbs onto head)
Watashi: leave me alone >_> (puts child down)
Child: WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH KOR KOR DAO MEEEEEEEEE (cries)
Mom: 治平啊让他玩啦
Watashi: >_>

Ok. You know what? Kids are scary stuff. I think.

An Amazing Class

Sometimes I wonder. The groups of people in years past. The things we talked about. The people whom I talked with. Their personalities. Their types. Their habits and behaviours. When you put them together, it seemed to gel. It seemed to fit nicely. Things didn't seem out of place. People hanged out with people whom they would have hanged out with. Birds of a feather flocked together. It was something that made sense.

Something about the groups of people in current times doesn't make sense. It's not that it doesn't gel. It's not that it doesn't fit nicely. It's not that things were out of place. It's not that people hanged out with people whom they wouldn't have been hanging out with.

For the most of it it made sense, yet something was amiss. Something didn't feel right. Perhaps it's the fact that certain aspects didn't feel natural. Yet it doesn't make sense - it's not as if I'm opposites with the world, nor as if I isolate myself from it. Am I just complaining on the fact that it could be better? I would eternally be complaining then, wouldn't I? I don't think I'm acting that way, at the very least.

Reminiscences too late? Perhaps. That seems more like me, at the very least.

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"I realized that, all over again... that Beck was really an amazing band."
-- Beck, [A-E] subs

Utsukushii Tsuki

Sometimes, after all the hustle of life, all the moving and all the work (and perhaps for some all the slack), sometimes we just need to pull out some time from our lives and just stare up.

The moon's beautiful today. The kind that would make you just stop in your tracks.

The clear kind that stares back towards you. The kind that travellers go by.

The kind that help you think back. What was I doing on such a full moon? Who was I talking to? What did I say?

I wonder what I did then. On such a beautiful moon.

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Full moon sways
Gently in the night of one fine day
On my way
Looking for a moment with my dear

Full moon waves
Slowly on the surface of the lake
You are there
Smiling in my arms for all those years

What a fool!
I don't know about tomorrow
What it's like to be
Ah~

- Moon on the Water, BECK

Life Up Till Now

1/3rd December over. To be honest, it's seemed like a waste here and there.

Still too much stuff unaccomplished. Let's start somewhere, shall we.

Mental States and all

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy but all fighting games and no kendo makes Herr a noob who does nothing but blindly attack and get scolded by Zau sensei.

There's been something I've been lacking in December. It's mental spirit. The psychological aspect of it all.

I've been moving without an aim. Idling off. I can't wake up in the morning and say to myself "This is what I'll do today". Not this year.

Halfway and I'm burnt out already? How terribly pathetic. Or maybe I've just lost sight temporarily. Aah, delusions.

It's a tad depressing when I think about it. But what am I to do? Had humans been powerful enough to fulfill their hopes and bear initiative to their thoughts the need for gods would be far less.

Dah. My words run dry while my thoughts remain aplenty.