Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Sometimes I feel like a little baba in the world trying to accomplish great things, with nothing but the thought that "wouldn't it be awesome if we pulled this off". It's kinda different from all the people going about thinking "I need this to get into Harvard" or "This had better look good on my CV" - there's a lack of pragmatic drive in it, if you will.

At times it makes me feel like there's a certain lack of purpose in my life. While I justify it at times with the idea that a person who's capable of many different things should just try many different things rather than specializing, really it reeks of lack of direction from certain perspectives.


Someone asked me why it was good for him to try to be serious when he was generally a joker. When I said that since he was already good at being a joker he should try learning to be serious so he could do both nicely - he considered it schizophrenic.

Hmm. Wonder what that says about me.

Speaking about that, I really wonder whether strangers and acquaintances see me as scary or weird or both.


The love I see around me feels so insanely bittersweet tragedy-ish. Two I'd have written a tragedy of, one I'd have written a tragicomedy of (pray ask not what the comedy is) and one I'd write a sheer comedy out of (and perhaps stuff it in some heartbroken box under the table)

Of the many things I'm thankful for, one of them stays that I shan't be finding myself in their shoes for very long.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Choral Exchange

Combined Sounds of Joy is awesome

our choir sucks

nuff said'

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Thanks to the Minibus

On the way back from Jarrel's house, I started to fiddle around with my phone while waiting for the bus to come.

173 came and left and I started chasing it like a madman. Of course, when you chase a bus that's driving in an empty lane you tend to only go for about 200 meters before it goes beyond salvageable distance and you're screwed, but I ran anyway.

As it turned around the bend, I gave up and started walking. Just then, this minibus pulls over along the roadside and the driver signals at me. I think it's a shuttle bus, and tilt my head, wondering what he's saying. He opens the door and tells me to get in. I do, and he tells me he'll help me get to the bus stop in front. He does just that.

Whoever is the driver of the minibus PA10B, thanks very much for the lift. You certainly helped this young'un a lot.


"when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."
- The Alchemist, Paul Coelho, p. 23

It's a line I think about at times. Does the universe favour those who want something, those who bear conviction? Thinking about individuals living nearly on luck is enough of a counter to the point. Then why does the universe conspire to help you achieve something you want?

When I think about it, perhaps it's not the universe. Perhaps it's the inhabitants of the universe that help you to achieve it. You and I.

When you see the world change, you want to take part in it. It's a bandwagon of change, of a potentially big thing, and this is your chance to join in. Who wouldn't take the chance?

Even if you don't, of course, you could always just give moral support. Let the person know that you're there to help him up when he's down, or something of that sort. It keeps the person going. And human sympathy tends to drive us towards giving moral support to people who are doing big things anyway.

It's rather fascinating to think that people tend to be driven by emotional, rational and natural forces to help people doing things out of the ordinary.

"If a man knows not what harbour he seeks, any wind is the right wind."
- Seneca

Why so? Perhaps because whichever land he ended up on, he would've found men who would help on his journey.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Monday, April 06, 2009

Memories of 2008

Out of coincidence I looked at one of the dead blogs that a classmate of mine kept.

It's rather queer realizing that you completely forgot about how your class used to play bridge in the center of the class and Go Fish at the back. The island in the center of the class for bridge seems so distant a memory now. Tao huey spam also seems like a thing of the past.

Seems like the moment the class settled down they moved on to chapteh and soccer and that's all I really remembered of it. Queer, huh? The first three months.