Wednesday, July 20, 2005

School Life

Less and less I feel like blogging. It's quite a weird feeling, really. It's... just... this need to go on a hiatus for other commitments.

If I really want to blog about something I need to blog about then well, let's say that things will become ultra-contraband and there's things I don't need people like SZ, Mel, etc seeing. But they view this blog anyway so I shall refrain.

And no, I won't tell just because you ask.

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Stress just keeps building up on me. Something you wouldn't normally hear from me, right? Haha.

I'm pretty stressed out right now. I REALLY REALLY don't want to do homework but yeah, I have to. In this time, I seriously need to find my own identity, soul-searching, understanding myself. Not some assignment given to me. Sorry, just had to say it. I mean, geez dangit. I can't concentrate for a single moment. Thoughts just keep rushing in, rushing out, flying around and refusing to be caught when I decide to blog. It's quite a pain, really.

Memories flow back to me quite often now. The time I got beaten up by Jireh and Caleb. Then I bit Dickson (Funny how I always thought his name was spelled Dixen.) and he hit me with his waterbottle. Then it was a very very bad scolding by Mr. Michael Chan. Not that he was fierce. It was the guilt. I saw what I did to Dickson. And I remembered what Jireh and Caleb did to me. Thinking now, I wonder how I would have felt if the person I bit was Jireh or Caleb instead of Dickson? Sigh.

P4...nevermind, look to the top to see why I shan't talk about this.

The pain of keeping secrets. The burden. It pains me. I need to get a blog where I can post the darker side of stuff. *sigh* One where only people like Zhang would view, because I know for one that they're the people I trust and the people I can rely on.

My parents. How much do they know me, really? My mom thinks that the philosophy I read up on during the June hols were storybooks. My dad comes up with the most stupid methods of getting the family together. But they're nice people. I can for one appreciate my dad's fetching me to school everyday, and my mom washing my clothes. Oh, and my mom cooks, not me. That's one thing to be glad about too. I have bad memories of cooking >_> I want to repay their kindness, but how? They need to understand my needs before I can understand theirs. Or is it the other way round? *sigh*

People... relations... friends... how real are they in reality? The failure of humans to understand another human well is something that makes sure clairvoyance is amazingly impossible to find. But seriously, how much do you really know about your best friend? Quoted from elsewhere, it's easier to bare your bottom than to bare your soul. But I need someone to bare my soul to. Everyone does at some time.

The closer you get to someone, the more you talk to somebody, the more you realize how different they really are from the words of others. I remember hearing other people talk about Mong last time. All I knew about him was his emotional disfunction (and I don't even know if that's true). When I made fun of him (playing soccer) from the windows of 1.13, he seemed to get angry at me. I continued with my bad impression of him. But then, when I was next to him and made fun of him, I realized that he managed to take my insults without hurling back one at me. Somehow, that resistance amazed me. I suppose this won't apply for others, but I managed to hold some respect for him after that. Which is also why I call him Michael Ong instead of Mong >_>

SZ. When I first got into 1.12 I thought he was some kind of joker or whatnot. Some stupid fella. Obsessing over Yu-Gi-Oh all the time. Anyway. Move on to Sec 2. My impression him betters someewhat. But I still was of the opinion he was some kinda deprived kid with a demented childhood. After being friends with him for some time, I suddenly realize how wrong I was. SZ's resolve is actually quite strong compared to most people. Then again, he faces something I never had: Alienation. Nevermind. Why am I talking about one of my daily blog-readers anyway. >_>

Jun Yi. I always thought he was being evil and mean to Sheu Zhi for no reason. He was still nice to people like me, but I still didn't like him too much because of how he treated SZ. I remember how seeing how Justin's mom treated Justin made me change my opinion of him SOMEWHAT (I still dislike him to a certain extent). It was the same with Jun Yi. Parents influence how their children turn out. If a parent brings up his child with too much care, then the child is pampered and spoilt. Likewise, if a parent refuses to give a child any love, then the child will grow up with a dark view on the world. Which is what happened to Jun Yi. If anyone actually knows how his mother treats him (Worlds apart from mine, that I know), you'd grow much sympathy for him too. I mean, whose parents throw death threats at their child? He has some very screwed up parents.

Zhang... despite all the randomness and constantly trying to make me 'happy', I actually quite appreciate it somewhat. But Zhang, remember. Serenity is what I like, not happiness. And they are different.

Mike. How do I put it. My impression of him has worsened somewhat. Perhaps it's jealousy, perhaps it's rivalry, perhaps it's just me. But I don't really like people who just jump at conclusions when judging people. People cannot be viewed in black and white. But that is what so many people do. Well, I guess I can't say that my friendship with him went down the drain, just distanced... somewhat.

KW. He's an interesting fella. He's the only one I don't mind constantly whining about Boey because I make fun of him out of it. It describes his personality quite well. XD He's a cute and likable fella (No, I'm not gay.) but man is he good at nearly everything. Sports, studies, looks and personality, it's as if he's Mr. Right. XD Sorry, I just like making fun of him. Yet he still manages fine friendships with people like Daniel (Whom I make fun of quite often too >_>), Kevin Low, etc. He's quite an admirable fellow, I have to admit.

Kevin Low. Let's just say that given the amount of trouble the vice-chair has given him I'm surprised he hasn't started to hate me yet. Thanks for putting up with me for so long. >_>

Jarrel. Same with KL. You're a good man, but your EQ is pathetic. Well, that's you, right? Can't change that. That just means you're a good man with a bad EQ. Lol, pretty rare eh.

Gid. I don't know. It's as if I know so much about him, but then it's also as if I know absolutely nothing about him. I've been with him for 7 years now. Yet so many things set us apart. He's like this enigmatic person I never really truly know.

*sigh* I'm thinking so much nowadays. About all the things I've been through. What use are they? What have I learnt? What is my future?

Sometimes, I realize that Asakura Yoh's goal really is tougher to achieve than running for president. Because it requires more than hard work. I suppose that's the only way to having an easy life. *sigh* The irony, huh? Haha.

Well, my thoughts are done for today. Farewell, and thanks for reading my blog. It's assuring to know that even though I just put my thoughts here there's people among my readers who care about what I write here. =)

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Lectures

Doing some reflection on what Mrs. Lena Yeo said Friday.

Education is for people to learn, understand, and more importantly (According to her), to know their place in society.

Now what part of that doesn't sound right? Hmm. I don't know. The last, I guess.

What's she trying to be? Authoritarian? Enlightener? I have no idea.

Why is it that we should learn of our place in society? Since when was there a strict ruling on our places in society? It's as if she's mocking our status. Yeah, we're students, does that mean that our fates are sealed until we become adults? I THINK NOT. She mocks us in her claim that we are but mere peope there to submit to authority!

*Man, does this sound revolutionist.*

Ok, what I'm trying to say is, why should we let our status quo decide on how far we can go into the unsafe zone of questioning authority or being close to it? Granted, there's obviously points where you've just gone too far, like asking a teacher for a date or fighting with him. But seriously, since when was the line so fine and clear? I somehow remember it being a VERY grey area. Why do I say this? Look at Michael. THAT'S why I say it.

...what? >_>

Anyway. I don't think that we should just let our alleged-immature stereotype let us go around actually thinking that we should submit to the authority by virtue of his position. After all, there's something that made us respect DT and Jasbir Singh more than Grace Khoo, right? It's the fact that they closed the gap between authorities somewhat. Of course they made sure they didn't become like friends with us, since that way we'd get illusioned into thinking we could play around with them. (IOW they'll lose their jobs >_>)

That, and Grace Khoo was an utter jerk. Umm, I didn't say that.

Why is it that education should let us be aware of our position in society? I somehow remember a word for people who went against the flow of the world. Oh yeah, it rhymes with my name. The word's "Maverick". Incidentally that's one of the words I like (Mostly because it's hard to find words that rhyme with me name.). Ok, fine, education should let us be aware of our position in society, but by no means should it restrict us or alter our thinking into believing that that position cannot be challenged. Because well, let's say that this position is perspective and relative.

*sigh* Done my ranting. Comments?

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Sight of the Day

Sight of the day (IOW very very short. >_> Hey, I blogged just yesterday right?)

Setting: It was the recess just before ISO. I hide next to the 2.12 Door.

Herr: *Jumps out in an attempt to scare people.*

Failed.

Jun Yi: *Sees me and decides to join. I was in front of the main part of the door (open btw, in case you didn't get it), he was in front of the side part of the door.*

Herr & Jun Yi: *Waits for a while, then pop heads out. Sees JK running.*

Herr and Jun Yi: *Gets ready*

Herr & Jun Yi: *Jumps out* Rarr!

Jeremy: *Stomp* Rarr! *Pushes Jun Yi*

Herr: o_O

Jun Yi: *Sound of Jun Yi slamming into side door*

Jun Yi: Owwwwwwwwww

Herr: O_O!!!

Jeremy stompruns his way into class. >_>

(Enter immense traumatisation.)

Everyone in class: *Sees JK stomprun to his bag and pack it up*

Everyone: o_O

(Jun Yi and I outside)

Jun Yi: Oww...

Herr: Jun, you ok? *Stares back into classroom* o_O

JK: *Stompruns out.*

Everyone in class: o_O

Herr & Jun Yi: Rarr

JK: Rarr! I am already late for my ISO Session! Rarr *Continues to stomprun*

Herr & Jun Yi: o_O

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Like, wow, I always heard of classfolk talking about how scary JK was but only today do I get to see it firsthand 1m away from me.

Hell have no fury of a JK late for his ISO Session. >_>

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Deaded Blog

My blog has been stagnant and somewhat deaded for some time now. And to everyone out there who reads this blog and apparently feels it is insightful for any reason, sowwy >_>

Also I realize that the quality of my blogposts are decreasing somewhat. I will apologize for that too.

My mind is once again in a state of random fragmentation and hence my post today will be highly fragmented as well. Better than random phrases at least IMO. >_>

Charity Cafe was pretty fun. But our selling of items was pretty bad. >_> We need to actually organize our items so it won't be like tidbits and stuff but actually good stuff that won't appear in another store (Granted ours did but that's not the point). My trying to sell Mamee by talking about respecting your elderly and such was pretty good IMO >_> But no one bought from me anyway apart from Cleon (Because I'm a nice guy >_>)

To Lou Ee: Yes, I'm pretty sure I shouted as loud as you. And I can sing that loud too. =)

To Andy: I said, can I buy the pizza for one dollar? He said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. XD (Russell Peters if any of you didn't get it.)

To Kevin Wong: I still think you're the best salesman among us. *Just look at those eyes of yours. The innocense. The sadness. The guilt one feels if he doesn't help one as cute and likable as you. The satisfaction one gets when he buys a Mamee from you, going away thinking "I did a good deed". That's the power you have. Use it, dangit. >_<* >_> And yes, you're fun to tease.

To everyone else: Eh, what? o_O

Student Exchange-related (Because I can annoy Melissa by not telling her what it is. That's assuming she's like Kevin Wong. Which I will agree is so to a certain extent. >_>) : Eh, how will I put it. The coach says we've only done 1/4 of the total thing last session. I hope we've done more this session. I personally want ti have done at least 1/2 by now. It's tough memorizing everything. >_>

The song? Moment is a pain to have steps to. Seriously. >_> Ask Zhang. >_>

Homework? Stress, stress, stress. >_> I'm slacking through it all. I will definitely regret this choice. >_>

TNN? Finally reworking again. After this I'll start to split from Kev's story. IOW the arcs will begin to deviate. Yay =)

CAP? Stagnant.

Philosophy? Stagnant.

Life? Stagnant.

Thoughts? Stagnant.

Hopes for the future? Hopefully not stagnant.

Will I get into IB? Dang is that one tough question. Seriously, I don't know.

*sigh* Sorry for the short blog guys. I'm just... I dunno.

Monday, July 04, 2005

The lil' things in life

*sigh* Don't really have anything big to blog about, so I shall blog about the small htings in life. My title of this blog, though it can't be seen, is 'The lil' things in life'.

I'm 1/2way through my next chapter of TNN. While I know the onus is on me to write TNN for the forumgoers, it's becoming harder and harder each and everytime. It's like inspiration: You can write a ton when you first start, and slowly it just drains off, slowly and slowly. *sigh* I may end up being like ZQ, JK, and Gid. >_>

On Wednesday, I met Ms.Loh at the bus-stop just outside school. Talked to her about a whole lot of things on the bus, about CAP, about friendship and stuff, about what she was going to do next year, and about philosophy (She asked me what my favourite subject was. >_>). I really kinda admire her for actually being able to put up with everyone from the OM group. And I am also somewhat indebted to her for being the first adult to actually converse with me about philosophy and discuss. Something my parents won't be doing anytime soon. >_> *sigh*

SJAB Day... how can I put it. On Thursday night, everyone fell in at the space frame. We began with drill to see who wasn't good enough to march for SJAB day. Dheeraj and Perry went out. Well, can't really say I didn't expect it, but I was surprised Douglas didn't go out. Then again, he did march well.

Staff B. (I call the staffs by Staff Lui, Staff Pongsy, Staff Kai Lun, and Staff B. I bet apart from 'Pongsy' and 'Kai Lun' I'm the only one who calls them that way. >_>) said that we were marching very well, but it might be that it was because it was nighttime and maybe he couldn't see very well. Then I made a joke by saying "Swami!" then Swaminathan said "Staff! I have a complaint! Herrick has just made a racist comment!" Staff B was like "Is that so?" and Swami explained it to him. >_> Everyone else was like "Ooooh...." at me >_> I'm pretty sure Swami didn't take it to heart, though. XD I don't tease him that much anyway. Staff B told me to look for him later for punishment. >_>

After the drill test we fell in as one contingent and took out everyone who wasn't good enough / didn't come enough times during SJAB Day training. Kai Lun gave a very motivating speech. Went to look for Staff B later to ask for punishment. I guess he was in a good mood 'cause he told me he'll punish me some other time. >_>

After drill we went to bed, and I realized I don't have my sleeping bag, nor a 2nd set of clothes (Some didn't have it either, so that was fine. The sleeping bag, though... >_>) so I laid out my lab coat on the floor and my jacket (Y'know the black shiny New Balance one I wore on Friday? That one.) above it. Then JX came along and offered me to share his sleeping bag (It was humungous *sp?*. If you spread it out it could fit 2 people comfortably.) I decided to take his offer. Eugene came along and started making fun of the two of us (Well, I don't have to tell you about what, do I.) But I cared not and just lied down on the sleeping bag. Some were bathing, some were chatting, some were eating biscuits given by the Staffs, some S3s and S2s were going into each other's rooms just to make everyone else groom >_> It was pretty funny.

Sleeping position:

JX Me John Ang

3 of us were really squeezed up with no space whatsoever. Ok, there was some space, but that's not the point. Blame the big sleeping bag of JX's. >_>

At 10.30 was lights-out. But everyone continued chatting. >_> Then a Staff came in and told us to quiet. >_> Then after much ruckus (Pretty funny ruckus, actually. Like Douglas going "Cockroach!" to "Watch out for Lai Kwan!" and "Esther can be anywhere!" and eventually ending with Douglas going "Owowow cramp". >_>) Good thing for JX's Strepsils. Helped my cough somewhat.

The next day other people came. Michael, Boey, SZ, Kevin Wong. SZ and Boey were placed in the stationary contingent. >_>

Kevin was complaining about how he had to march all the way past so many people, so he wanted to change positions with me. I told him I was standing in front of 2.12 so he was like ">_>" and "Hmu (If you don't get this ask ZQ >_>)"

Just before the marching Dalton, John Yu and (Not sure) were talking about Fire Emblem. I just listened. >_> Then marching started.

When we went there the GoH was actually early o_O. Then we marched in. Some people say that the GoH was longwinded but I don't really think so. Ok, maybe certain parts were quite disheartening like

"Hello again." and "Let me start by telling you a story". >_> The 2nd one made Dalton squat. Ameer squatted too. >_<

After that we just went back, phototaking, chatting, changing into casual clothes, and back for school.

End SJAB Day. >_>

SJAB Carnival:

Lol, much fun. I bought lots of food >_> But only used up $13 in the process so I gave the rest to Muhammad's bro. The stuff there were pretty nice. Well, we sold out by 10 so we were all dismissed then >_> Inhaling helium is fun! Except Ms. Tan Boon Chui doesn't think so. >_>

Btw, I still see no relation between those... costumes and SJAB. >_>