Sunday, March 01, 2009

Fragmented Thoughts

It's been a rather busy week so I've only been able to blog about the day's events at a later point.

Cross country gave me a rather scary thought which I only managed to link up with an earlier event at a later point in time.

This year, there were thousands more injuries than the year before - despite being held at the same location, too. Figures, huh. For the note, there was only one injury last year, and my group handled it. This year, however, abrasions were aplenty. Fainting too. And falling down and the like. I think the main problem was forgetting to tell each station to make sure runners don't bloody run on the gratings.

That aside, the first casualty was a somewhat annoying bugger I knew (He wasn't too buggerish to me, personally. I just hear he is to many) who got four abrasions - both knees, left elbow, stomach. I don't even know how he got the one on the stomach.

I took out the alcohol swabs, and started wiping his knee. Unsurprisingly, he started cringing a lot. JAng wiped the other knee, and he was like owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww and so on. My first comment? "Bear with it. The stomach one may hurt even more."

Only at the end of the event did I realize how absolutely nonchalant I sounded saying that. What would he have felt hearing that? I'm not sure. It's a duty to care for a person's injuries but just as much a duty to care for the person himself, and I seemed to have forgotten the latter after all the injuries came along.

Was I desensitized to his feelings because of what I knew him to be? Because I'd seen these kind of stuff before and knew exactly what to do? Because I wasn't going to panic in the least bit while looking for the alcoholic swabs?

When I remembered my pain in the hospital and how much I hated the staff nurses that I realized that it wasn't their fault, but the nature of their job. It was inevitable that they would turn nonchalant to it all. To the cries of pain. To the plea asking them to stop for now.

It just turns into another job.


Choral exchange was a painful reconciling with my past. Not that I don't stand by my actions (I don't actually, I just take responsibility for them) but sometimes I just felt it was kind of wasted and all. I do admit I felt he was a terribly annoying person and an absolute bugger to be around but I didn't have as much of an issue with him as .10 did. If I do admit it? It felt kind of stupid wasting a friendship over the other person being a bugger. I'd be killing friends all over if that happened, and I'm pretty sure other friends would be killing me all over if they had a similar attitude.

Well, it's good to know he's doing well in a new place. Just a pity I got to know him before that and saw him in the light that everyone had seen him. Wasted, but I have to live with it I guess.

For some people, it just isn't worth breaking friendships with, even if they seem to have problems here and there - their intelligence tends to make up for it, and truly smart people are always rarer than truly nice people.


Speaking of that, it seems another friend is giving up on a rare opportunity for reasons pertaining to the people around him.

I won't say that I'm not partially at fault for creating such a situation in the first place, but personally it seems too much of a waste to give up such a good opportunity. To work with such a person.

Really, some things aren't worth abandoning no matter the reason. I better get something done soon. I just hope that this doesn't turn out to be more difficult than I expect it to be.

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