終わらないの明日へ

The thirty-first of December 2007, the Eve. Some homework left untouched (Much like some others), and some reflections done undone (Oh, the double-meanings.)

In light of last year's sheer awesome (Being reintroduced to fighters, going overseas three times during schooltime, cool classmates, doesn't really get better), this year probably wanes. Of course, I myself had kind of predicted that last year, and even though I could care less about how 3.9/10 were split, I could care about other annoyances associated with going on to Sec 3. Not to say that this has been a bad year, but comparing to the absolutely carefree self I was but a while ago, being responsible does take its toll on you. I'm sure some I know can testify to that.

After I updated my list of anime that I've watched, I realized a rather sad fact: I've watched/read close to 90 anime/manga series (Counting twice for anime which is incomplete whereas the manga goes to the very end, and for anime which deviate from the manga). Add in the fact that there's a few series that I can't remember the names of due to the fact that I was P1-3 and the name was in Chinese (Oh, Channel 8 Saturday Noon shows. How I miss Gundam Wing) and perhaps it'll hit hundred. Damn. Of course, as much as every being in the nearby vicinity would instantly declare me a Japanese weeaboo faggot, I guess I could reason it out since I have after all been exposed to such since the tender age of 7. That's more than half my life exposed to anime =O. But anyway, anyone wanting to borrow manga/anime can go ahead and ask me now since I've finally gotten my 80gb harddrive, 31 gigs of which have already been filled with anime XD Add in the stuff I got from the Chuang Yi warehouse sale, I guess I should have a substantial amount. >_>

Playing KoF XI with my bro on the PS2, and playing GGXX#R with him on the computer really reminds me of old times when we played KoF 98, 99, and 2000 together. Playing Touhou reminds me of Aero Fighters, just so much tougher. Watching Pokemon at 10.30am (Now 11) has been an 8-year old habit. Slacking is eternal. Even as a teen, age-old stuff still remain fresh in my mind. But still, time moves on. Even my bro feels surprised at the fact that in such a short time, he's already become 20 years old. And that's what I am in 5 year's time. Short, isn't it?

At the end of the past two years, I've put up a simple phrase on my blog: Owaranai no Ashita he. Meaning "Towards a neverending tomorrow" and taken from the game Gundam SEED: Owaranai no Ashita he, it is a simple statement, yet a rather beautiful one at that.

Two years ago, I misunderstood this statement, adding in my own melancholic (read: angsty. Woe) part into it. Last year, what I added to the simple phrase was in retrospect, a very insightful statement in how realistic it was. I never realized that I was like this last year. "Owaranai no Ashita he, Kinou he Kairanai kara" is such a simple statement, yet one I've easily forgotten, a realistic touch to an idealistic statement. Yet, it is better without the second half. After all, what is the purpose of an ideology apart from to be idealistic? But ultimately, what does this short statement, Owaranai no Ashita he mean? "Towards a neverending tomorrow" can mean so many different things.

With the simplest meaning, 'towards a neverending tomorrow' means that tomorrow never ends. We are eternally heading towards the future. Eternally heading towards a goal, eternally heading towards a certain endpoint. In a sense, we are constantly longing, forever in search of something.

However, let us move away from the conventional as the aforementioned concept is just a mere description of everyday life for the normal folk. Can't 'towards a neverending tomorrow' mean that tomorrow never comes? That today never ends? Physically, that's a dream come true: living without a care for tomorrow in a society where you can eternally stay a student, funded by an economy that you need not even care about, never fearing issues of the future. Whatever was eternally longing is now never longing. A live without purpose whatsoever apart from to live life over and over again endlessly. A purely carpe diem style of life. Nietzsche once said that the way to judge one's value in life was through eternal recurrence. What if there was just one moment in life that you could eternally repeat? What would it be? How enjoyable would it be? What would it be like? Sentimental? Thrilling? Peaceful? With friends? Or family? Or with a loved one? This would be the judgement for what your life's worth was. Yet, if you freeze the wrong moment in time, isn't that torture?

Now look at it again. Isn't the first concept and the second concept of 'towards a neverending tomorrow' the absolute same? A world with endless possibilities and a world with no possibilities can be the exact same, after all. So what makes the difference? What makes a neverending tomorrow? A neverending spirit. As long as you believe that a single thought can change the fate of your life, anything is possible by your hands. Of course I'm speaking from an eternal viewpoint where you can make choices infinitely, but even applying that into normal life, isn't it far more comforting to know that whatever small choice you make isn't vanity in the fight against predeterminism? And even if one is afraid of this power, isn't he more afraid of himself; of his inability to trust in his own decisions? It is a mere matter of self-faith. Perhaps this sounds rather existential (which I won't deny), verging even on being atheistic (or in the fundamentalist view satanic), but honestly, if you actually do some research, you will realize that satanism and christianity aren't completely mutually exclusive (though I must admit only in a rare few areas do they coincide, mostly incidentially the areas that also coincide with existentialism).

To me, a neverending tomorrow implies neverending possibilities (because there never exists a point where there are none), neverending mistakes and neverending pain, yet neverending successes and neverending happiness and fun. A world where you can truly go the way you want to, even in the constrictions of society. One where you can transcend boundaries without breaking them. Going beyond humanity while staying human. Outdoing yourself in your own body.

All this idealism. Yet what a simple prerequisite there is before you can realize all of that. All you need is heart and will. The will to sincerely try to seize the day the way you want to, to your best effort. A simple prerequisite, yet a difficult one to fulfill. I haven't been up to it for 15 years, but does that mean you can't? As the year ends again, I shall say it oncemore.

終わらないの明日へ.

Christmastime

Albert: I'm sorry if talking to that guy and getting lost made Christmas any less enjoyable, Innocia.

Innocia: Albert, maybe you just need to lighten up a bit. It's Christmas isn't it? Why not smile, be happy?

Albert: Christmas is indeed here, though just a shred of its former self. Perhaps it comes with age, or perhaps it comes with time. But I know that the silver bells ring no longer for me.

Innocia: Why do you say that?

Mera: While I am just a stranger, I can kind of understand him. Christmas of the past was more... unstained. After a while, Innocia, as children grow up, they tend to stop running around so much, and start to reflect more. In the past, usually minute things were what made me happy, and when you grow up, it really takes more than just one's relative dressing as Santa to make one happy. Maybe it's something that comes around with maturity, but it's more a sort of payback than a byproduct.

Innocia: Yet I am perfectly happy here with my brother and my benefactor, even without any presents. I doubt I can be very much more mature than you. It seems more like Albert has forgotten to take things easy, and feels too guilty for letting me run off.

Albert: It's more than just a feeling of guilt, sis. I quite agree with Mera here. Let me ask you something, Innocia. Do you remember the song, Silver Bells?

Innocia: ...yeah, but why?

Albert: What kind of bells do you think the song writer was thinking of when he or she wrote that song?

Innocia: Light, ringing handbells?

Albert: Yet they no longer exist. What you hear is the loud resounding echoes of the church bell calling because it's Sunday, not on the forthcoming on Christmas nor because it's its Eve. Delicate chimes exist no longer here, only loud resounds.

Innocia: I have to disagree with you here. Do you hear the bells?

Albert: There're bells?

Mera: ...ever so faintly. From that stray?

Innocia: More than that. Look at that couple entering the store. Do you hear the bells? An announcement is being made right now. Did you hear the bells? Look at the carollers there. Do you hear the bells? Look at the man dressing as Santa, riding that mechanical sleigh with a child in his embrace. Do you hear the bells? They have never stopped ringing for you, brother. You have just grown slightly deaf to the subtle sounds of serenity, the silver bells of Christmas. Christmas has never stopped for you, you have just grown slightly indifferent towards its spirit, caring about experiences. You just need to notice it again, Albert.

Albert: ...I guess. I'm sorry for making you say all this to me on Christmas.

Innocia: What are you saying? After all that, you're still being like this! Do I have to force you to be happy? ...nevermind. I wanna eat something. Come on, Albert!

(Innocia runs towards a cafe and waves at Albert.)

Albert: She's... changed quite a bit since I lost her. Though it's only been one or two days...

Mera: Children can be strong-willed and mature at times too. You just need to give them the chance to show that dreams are part of reality as well. Don't you think so? Come on, cheer up. I know you just got lectured by your younger sister, but don't act so pathetic. Seeing you so grey and her so white makes me feel rather sad for you.

Albert: I suppose.

Innocia: What're you two doing?! Can't you let a little girl have a happy Christmas without starving?

Mera and Innocia

Innocia: Why're you so quiet, Mera?

Mera: That's not a good question to ask someone who's helping you find your brother. Why do you think I'm quiet, then?

Innocia: I don't know. Isn't that why I asked you? Christmas is a time for celebrations. Shouldn't you be happier? Being so silent feels rather sad.

Mera: I've been living life alone for some time. Doesn't talking require a second party? I guess I just get used to it. What about you, then? Why're you so happy and going around so carefreely even though you can't find your brother? Shouldn't you be the least bit worried?

Innocia: My brother wanted me to have a happy Christmas. If I started worrying now and cried, I would remember me crying a few days before Christmas along with me having a happy Christmas celebration. If I worried now and still can't find him, it would be even worse. I wouldn't remember anything happy about Christmas. Wouldn't that be against what my brother wants? ...does that sound weird?

Mera: ...for someone your age, yes. But I suppose that is also the reason why your aura doesn't show itself in the snow; your inner self is pure, your emotions are as your name is.

Innocia: Aura? Inner self? Emotions?

Mera: Nevermind. Only the rarest of synaesthates would understand me. Let's find your brother, shall we? Even your happy self can't stay that way forever. ...or maybe it can?

---------------------------------------------------------------

"They wanted us to have memories. If we concentrate on just fighting alone, we'd never be able to create good memories, would we? And if we don't have memories after the battle is over, we'd forget how to live altogether. And we'd think only of battles and how to fight them... so don't make fighting your only ambition in life.

-- Maya, Soukyuu no Fafner (Odex Translation)

Catching Up

Yes, it's been a long time since I blogged. You can kind of blame a number of stuff for it.

1. All the anime I bought at the Chuang Yi warehouse sale
2. All the manga I bought at the Chuang Yi warehouse sale
3. All the games I bought at Malaysia
4. Rappelz

To be exact, I bought 4 anime (2 for collection, 1 finished), 3 manga, and 12 games, so yeah, you can kinda tell what I've been doing.

Some of them really do do something to your head though. Watching Serial Experiments Lain and playing Xenosaga Ep. III first turned out to be a good thing, it really makes your mind think over the kind of issues they discuss.

Disgaea 2 on the other hand, is the exact same as Disgaea (Not that there's anything wrong with that), but sadly no one apart from Cleon and I know about the series, which is a waste.

Then there's FFXII which I have not touched in any way whatsoever because unlike Kwong and WH I have RPGs to play *ahem*. >_> But it's probably not as bad as X-2, so what's the issue. Even if FFXII turns out to be sucky, there's still FFXIII which seems to be pretty damn ownage from what's been seen (More than what's been seen of Halo 3, at least gameplay was showed >_>)

Couple that with Klow's post about music (Which really was more of a reminder than a particularly insightful piece, though credit must definitely be given to him for remembering such things), and you get the reasons why I haven't been blogging at all.

I realize that up till now, my writing has always been to convey ideas. The way I see it, writing is for ideas and music is for emotions. After all, it's not common that you hear of songs inspiring rallies and such, yet look at Mein Kampf, I have a Dream, and so on. Yet the plain form of text never really was too capable of conveying emotions without the transition into the physical realm, that of tone, drama, dance, song, and so forth.

I still have absolutely no idea why, but every single year I dream of singing Christmas carols with friends. Maybe it's because these simple songs can touch the hearts of so many. Maybe I just love Christmas and want to cherish my friends. Or maybe I want to convey the emotion of happiness to others.

But that dream has gone past 15 times, and probably will go past for a lot more times. So here I am in writing.

My ideas have always seemed better in my head than on words, and from the looks of it conveying emotion will go likewise. So what now? Practise isn't much of a word for omniperfectionists, so screw that.

Man, is this post a cry for help, a nostalgic reminiscence, or once again fragmentations?

Feceof's cafe

Feceof: And another two wanderers coming into this minor stop in life? Come, sit down, dry yourself, and have some coffee. It's my pride.

Momo: Thanks. It's not common to see a cafe so far out in the middle of nowhere, along some windy path. Nonetheless I appreciate there being shelter from the rain.

Feceof: Well, you're under shelter now, so relax a bit. Drink some of this. The man over there can guarantee its quality.

Eisregen: Indeed, it's a magnificent brew. I really must count myself lucky for chancing upon such wonderful coffee.

Feceof: Haha, thank you for the praise. Go ahead and have some more while you hide from the rain.

Momo: I'm sure we shall. It paints much colour into the bleak grey sky, and I'd hardly be able to appreciate much of nature in that rain. There was less of serenity and more of sadness in that rain, and I thank this place for changing that.

Eisregen: Who can you blame? It is the monsoon. The skies cry out with sadness and their tears spread all across the land. All who see their tears absorb their sadness, grey in a melancholic state, just like the crying sky.

Aoi: ...sora wa naiteinai mou... sora wa haiiro janai wayo...

Momo: Do the skies really cry? Is it not the clouds who carry the rain? Not the water which ascends to the sun? It is they instead who cry. People turn their heads and see the grey clouds blocking the sky, and they mistake it as such. How could the all-encompassing sky ever feel grey? What a great responsibility it has! All look up to the everblue sky for hope, what time does it have to break the happiness and hope of everyone? It is rather the clouds that block it, the passing clouds that cast their rain upon the lands, and soon go along their path towards elsewhere, revealing once again the vastness of the everblue sky.

Eisregen: Is it not as good as grey when the clouds triumph over them? That one time where a man is caught in the rain is a victory already, for that is enough time for emotions to change.

Momo: That's you, one who sits by himself, idly watching the rain fall in one single place, never moving. Whyever you ended up in this cafe is not my business, but if you aren't moving much further you will never be able to appreciate the wind, being stuck in this world of yours. I travel towards a town where what descends is angelic and pristine, not a world of self-reflected emotions, but have you even heard of such? Would the frozen rain ever understand the feelings of anything? ...nevermind. Aoi, let us go. We must be off or we shall not make it before the festival.

Aoi: ...datte...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Man. I wrote this in 3 seatings, which is why this is so abrupt, so switch-topicy and so on. Meh, I think I tried too hard.

Albert and Innocia

Innocia: Look Albert, Christmas decorations! It's that merry time again!

Albert: Sure looks that way. But rather early, isn't it? Just the beginning of November and the seasons are greeting already? Feels kinda awkward.

Innocia: Who cares? Take it like a countdown to presents and feasts and other nice stuff! You just have to look optimistic. I hope I get alot of toys this Christmas!

Albert: I suppose I could, just without the toys. Hey, look. A church in the middle of the shopping district; that's rare. And the architecture looks so oldern too...

Innocia: Albert, why don't they have Christmas decorations as well? I mean, Christmas comes from church. If everyone else is celebrating beforehand, why not them?

Albert: Well, Christmas is more than just presents, toys, feasts and Santa Claus, Inno. While the decorations are up, they're for shoppers who care about the more materialistic aspect of Christmas. You'd probably see decorations on churches when it's closer to Christmas, say 'round 20th December or so?

Innocia: Wow, that's deep, and I don't get what materialistic means. But essentially they want to celebrate the more important things, right?

Albert: Well, I guess you can look at it that way. Some people go as far as to say that the important things are the only things that matter, and everything else is irrelevent.

The Salesman: That would indeed be so. The decorations, along with those other foolish things going on are indeed irrelevent lies intended to decieve people from the truth.

Albert: Who're you?!

The Salesman: Someone out to pass the truth on to everyone, be they the elderly, the working, or like you, the youth.

Albert: So you're from that church. Thank you, but we have to be on our way.

The Salesman: You're just trying to escape.

Albert: From what?

The Salesman: The truth. You're afraid because you can't take the truth; it's just too much for someone like you, isn't it? You're scared. Scared of accepting the fact that all those presents everyone's carrying around are just mere distractions from the true importance of Christmas.

Innocia: They are? (Albert: ...)

The Salesman: Yes, they are. Christmas is being defiled by people like you, materialistic brats who just look at money. And all those damn entreprenuers take advantage of that and make you waste it in the name of Christmas. They drive you away from the churches and towards the malls, while we are stranded behind with nothing except drivers offering us a ride up the wall.

Innocia: ...you're scary...

The Salesman: Of course! The truth never looked kind and friendly to fools, did it? Turn now, child, to the light, such that the glitter of money no longer shines in comparison to the bright radiance you face away from!

Albert: Leave him alone! She's just a child!

The Salesman: Move away! She must cast away the facade of illusions and come towards me! Only then will she receive true peace and enlightenment. It is just a step away!

Albert: Innocia, you can stop clinging onto me and hiding behind my back now. We're going somewhere else, away from these kind of freaks.

(Albert and Innocia leave amidst shouting from the salesman, who stops and finds a teenage couple walking along a similar street and begins talking to them. Albert and Innocia then enter a mall.)

Albert: Well, let's just eat lunch first before we continue walking around, shall we, Innocia? ...Innocia? Man, she got lost again.

So begins November.

So sian that I don't wanna blog. But then again, nothing's really wrong with me in the first place. Wonder why.

Halloween

'bout 3 days since I ate at the Singapore Polo Club, and damn their food is good.

But that's not relevant. >_>

Over there I saw an interesting sight: Bunches of kids dressed out in various costumes, obviously for Halloween celebrations. Now isn't that a rarity. Kids with scythes, kids with Scream masks, kids with The Mask Masks >_>, and so on. And among them was one little Asian kid with le katana. TOTALLY Halloween, but then again maybe he was trying to be a ninja or something.

It's seriously a queer feeling to suddenly stand among so many Caucasian families along with so many Caucasian kids in random costumes. Such out-of-the-norm things as said, don't happen in the norm. I guess it's because we don't embrace the Halloween culture in any way whatsoever, but nevermind.

Here's the next note. I did note a number of teenagers around the area too, but none of them were in Halloween costumes, instead just wearing normal clothes. Well, duh, some of you would say. Don't people grow out of Halloween by the teenage age?

Now isn't it a gigantic irony that costume parties are carried out at a later age for Singaporeans, instead of at the young age for children? Perhaps it's due to a more cosmopolitan nature brought out in older Singaporeans (You can't expect kids 5 years old to have future plans for moving out of S'pore) resulting in embracing different cultures at a later age, but even then the reasoning and idea is somewhat queer in the first place.

Seriously, what does this say about Singaporean culture? Are we truly embracing different cultures, or are we stuck in the middle without any? Hmm. Then again, they're not mutually exclusive.

Fighting Moments

Out of sentimental feelings, I decided to take a look at a few replays of Immaterial and Missing Power (Touhou gone fighting. Not that you know what Touhou is anyway) and damn, some replays are just amazing. Love Sakuya, she's like Dio Brando of WRYYYYYYYYY fame made female and placed in a maid costume. Ownage. >_>

But seriously, I never recalled IaMP to be so fast. I mean, people consider Guilty Gear fast compared to fighter games like Street Fighter, KoF, DoA, etc. If GG is fast, I have no idea what this is o_O. Must try picking up IaMP again after not playing it for months.

Having sparked a bit of curiosity into this, I decided to look around for some ownage fighter game vids. And I managed to find the epic, and the not so epic. Nonetheless, good vids, somewhat. >_>

The End

So school's ended. So we've had a class party. So we've got Mdm. Loo Shek Kien and Mdm. Sandra Sim (More used to calling her Mrs) and Mr. Alvin Tan is not in the same class as Michael Ong, a thing to be very thankful for.

*In SJAB Room*

AV Tan: Sian eh, I think I may become PCT of 4.9 or 10 leh... eh Herrick
Watashi: ?
AV Tan: Mong is in which class? 9 or 10?
Watashi: Why do you wanna know about Mong
AV Tan: Just tell me. 9 or 10.
Watashi: Uh, 9...
AV Tan: Ok good I hope I become PCT of 10.
Watashi: What's wrong with Mong?
AV Tan: He has a way of getting to you.

And in addition, I'm not chairman next year. Kwong is. I'm just a regular student~ haven't felt what it was like for some time now, though given me I'll probably end up acting authoritarian again. Darh. But oh well, my plan to make Jason chairman was semi-successful. >_>

Some other thoughts on being chairman, but I shan't talk about them here.

Anyway, will be getting back to writing soon. Had some funky idea that I wanted to work on a bit, so haven't really been writing any conversations or whatever lately.

英华偷了我的心

你问我爱英华多深
我爱英华几倍
我的情牺牲
我时阴牺牲
英华拿了我的心

你问我爱英华多深
我爱英华几分
捐了一万块
失钱得痛快
英华拿了我的钱

薄弱的一张纸
已经使我会失眠
小小的芝麻事
教我节检到如今
你问我爱英华多深
我捐给它几分
你去拿一拿
你去看一看
一二零里存的钱.

-------------------------------------------

I chose not to say 英华代表我的心 purely because I couldn't think of what to write then. No offense is intended through the creation of this random piece, and hopefully no offense is interpreted >_>

Rosenthal

Somehow, naively, I wish to make up for my mistake the entire year of being a bad chairman. For this I thought of doing whatever crazy ideas any of my friends were thinking of, rushing headfirst even though my friends and I both knew that it was, ultimately, vain. As Xi Min begins to bring the mentos and coke tomorrow, my own self gets torn apart again between the chains of reason and the idealistic child (How ironic that Chained Wings, my completely unseen blog name, would on this day refer to two sides of myself, an intraconflict rather than an interconflict. Life's just a sad joke in that way, the same way that Murphy predicted).

People always talk about how it's better to regret that you did something, than to regret that you did nothing. But what of those who try again? Is their pain just twofold, or more?

Mr. Ng Yew Hong asked me what was wrong with me today after reading so much and completely not paying any attention whatsoever to him. Isn't it obvious? You yourself are partially guilty of this. But nonetheless, I will agree: it is my own fault that I am so overly critical of others, and that I am so incapable of just directly telling them what I consider important. It's just a guessing game with everyone, though the latter part of the alliteration fades into etherality at times.

The Pygmalion Effect, in my opinion, goes beyond just a mere expectation on the mentor's part towards the mentee. Obviously, the former party has to be first held accountable for whatever expectations made. No mentor would place hope in a child by treating him specially and raising his expectations of the child, only to have him fail once again in the test. What's this then, the Rosenthal Defect? False hope and hypocrisy are the double side of expectations.

...ah. What am I doing. I shouldn't be pushing blame onto others, should I? Cursing others for one's own failings is such the mark of a prideful one. Perhaps I'm just annoyed at others for not bearing the same conviction as I do; but then again, who wants to fall from higher ground?

(Wonder who understood that.)

Post-Exam

The exams are finally over, despite being a gigantic joke overall. I mean, A Maths...

Post-exam two years ago, I talked about how I believe I fared. I talked about the movies we watched after the exams ended. I talked about how boring life was without a proper cause in life. I talked about a bunch of people.

Post-exam one year ago, I talked about class spirit. I had a few particularly interesting conversations with Zhang and Sheu Zhi.

I seriously do find certain segments rather interesting.

"SZ: Where does your happiness come from?
Me: Me, huh. My happiness, I suppose, comes from the fact that I could be alone, and I can have faith that someone out there is still thinking of me.
Me: That something has been done due to me. That people can remember me due to me being me.
Me: No matter where I am, I can always know that I still have friends I can trust in. Friends I can have conflicts with yet never go beyond the point of no return. Friends that will be friends when I need friends.
SZ: omg sophisticated >_<""" lol, hmm.
Me: Haha. That's me, all right."

In all honesty, I really was rather idealistic (Despite my argument with Zhang. As Mel said in the comments, I really was far more of a hypocrite than I thought I was at that time.) and rather... well, incapable of understanding certain stuff. I remember Hsieh Wen saying some time ago that people considered me to be a joker because I was essentially not doing anything with whatever I knew to change people's perceptions of me. In retrospect, I probably didn't have this 'whatever I knew' thingy in the first place. Or maybe I do, just that I've forgotten about it.

My past, though, is largely idealistic (Very well exemplified by certain memories) and in all honesty, semiempty idealism. Why empty? Because it's vain. Why semi? Because it wasn't completely so.

This year, however, has not left a particularly good aftertaste, in my opinion. I, admittedly, started out the year with the idealism I bore as class chairman, capable of bringing a whole new class together just as was done in 2.12 by Kev.

But idealism is idealism. And when you don't feel the true sacrifices, you don't get the true payoffs. For all of Klow's stress induced through being class chair, he managed to divert it somewhat, and still somehow link the class through, honestly, one of the most ingenious (sp?) ideas I've seen. Somehow, TNN just worked. Maybe this is pure delusions on my part, but it just somehow got this class together.

Zhang said that maybe he was just continuing a job half done by 1.12. Maybe the smaller class contributed to a warmer environment. Maybe it was all just fate, and I couldn't be blamed for failing where Klow had succeeded. Maybe being forced to create class T-shirts (I didn't really take Zhang at his word, but well, given Azmi >_>) was ultimately still more effective than going in with pure idealism and trying to inspire others who didn't exactly bear the same idealism you had.

Or maybe I just failed to do what others have done, and lone idealism isn't enough to transform a group. I need to be more, and that 'more' just happens to be out of my reach. Perhaps it's an inferiority complex, but I never considered myself to be on the same level as Klow, despite never trying. Perhaps I'm just trying to desparately console myself for completely failing to do anything worth doing, and trying desparately to make up for it in one single week. Or perhaps, I'm not as cut out for this job as some people thought I was.

But then again, if not me, then whom?

"There are no 'if's. There is only the assumption of 'what if', and the wish that 'if only it had turned out different then'. There is no absolute truth that supports this. There is no preparation to accept what is there, only tightfisted sentiment and bitter illusions. That's something that elementary school brats know very well of. It's just, even if they say they understand it, they can't possibly understand things that they haven't done nor experienced. Ah... I get the feeling that this is all useless. The harsh reality."

-- Rentarou, Futakoi Alternative (AnY Fansub)

On Finding A Small Beetle Flying About Randomly In The Room

On Finding A Small Beetle Flying About Randomly In The Room

Some beetle wound up flying here and there
Around the cobwebbed study called my room.
It crawls and flies without the world a care
While I the human one must brace for doom.
Why not go out, a world outside so fine!
That paradise, far sweeter than goodbyes
Yet see you do, this painful day of mine
As if you want to offer me advice
What words can one unwise as you transfer?
Distract me from my fight is what you do.
Do cold hard facts remind you of the myrrh?
Perhaps to you, but science is far more crude.
Oi simi leave my room oledy lah
Tomorrow test today mus study lah...

*Non-Sec 3 Readers are advised to reference to Charles Tennyson Turner's "On Finding A Smalll Fly Crushed In A Book" to understand. But I doubt you can find this poem on the net. Oh well XD*

Good Luck

Year 3 has come and past, the stress we have will never last,
Wake me up when the finals end,

All the teachers leave so fast, times with them will just fly past,
Treasure them, but never give them trust,

Here comes the stress again,
From friendships, home and class,
Finding our identities,
Before it fades away,

As my memory rests,
But never forgets the times we had,
Wake me up, when the finals end.

Term 4, it's the final test, for friends and foes and school exams,
Rest for now, but wake up when it ends.

Rereading

I had been writing a blogpost on the 8th, but I decided that it was more personal and less interpersonal so I didn't really see the reason for putting it up on my blog in the end. Oh well, the first eternal draft.

After reading a number of blogs, I begun to reread a number of blogs I regularly visit, and look once again at what they are writing about. As my bro says, the way he judges the sword designs he draws out is to not touch them for 3 days, then look at it again. It is always with the second look that flaws, beauties, and the occasional 'wtf is this' come out.

But let's not talk about the blogs I've reread, but rather at the people that showed me that I have to reread the blogs of these friends.

Sir is a respectable and knowledgeable person, and one inspiring at that. We all love the way he teaches, though rather unconventional yet still effective, and also how he also talks about stories with us during lessontime, teaching life lessons instead of concepts. He is in no way untalented, and in every way he shows how he cares for us, guiding us not only educationally but also bringing us along the route of life.

At this point of time I'm assuming that readers from 3.9 would have two possible candidates as to whom this Sir is. And as ownage as he is, he's not Brian Chirnside simply because Brian Chirnside does not teach us. I'd like him to be my teacher one day though, there's just that aura of own surrounding him. And I can go to him whenever I need practise, hahaha.

Now, let's look at these two Sirs. Both are as stated above. Both go around sneakily reading the blogs of us, the students. And both are ownage. Then where do they differ apart from the subjects they teach? That's the interesting part. One wants to stay in teaching because it's his calling, and one has been disillusioned by the system and wants to leave after a short two years here. While the latter is slight exaggeration on my part, the basic truth is still there mostly.

Why the dissimilarity in such an important area? Who knows. T'is but mere food for thought in the grand scheme of life.

《不得不爱》

《不得不爱》- 潘玮柏&弦子

天天都需要你爱 我的心思由你猜
I love you 我就是要你让我每天都精彩
天天把它挂嘴边 到底什么是真爱
I love you 到底有几分说得比想像更快

是我们感情丰富太慷慨 还是有上天安排
是我们本来就是那一派 还是舍不得太乖
是那一次约定了没有来 让我哭得像小孩
是我们急着证明我存在 还是不爱会发呆, BABY

不得不爱 ，否则快乐从可而来
不得不爱 ，不知悲伤从何而来
不得不爱 ，否则我就失去未来
好象身不由己 不能自己很失败
可是每天都过的精彩

天天都需要你爱 我的心思由你猜
I love you 我就是要你让我每天都精彩
天天把它挂嘴边 到底什么是真爱
I love you 到底有几分说得比想像更快

I ask girlfriend how you been
来去有机会 我从来没有想过爱情会变得如此无奈
是命运吗 难道难过是上天的安排 没办法
天天的每天的心思到底由谁来陪 我诚心 你诚意
但周围扰人的环境始终让我们无法在这里自由相恋
我精彩 你发呆 两颗心不安的摇摆 应该有的未来是否真那么的无法期待
舍不得再伤害 You're my girl my girl my friend
How much I love you so so much baby
看着你的哀愁 要我如何怎么承受面对
I'm sorry you're my sweetheart My love My one only baby

不得不爱 ，否则快乐从何而来
不得不爱 ，不知悲伤从何而来
不得不爱 ，否则我就失去未来
好象身不由己 不能自己很失败
可是每天都过的精彩

天天都需要你爱 我的心思由你猜
I love you 我就是要你让我每天都精彩
天天把它挂嘴边 到底什么是真爱
I love you 到底有几分说得比想像更快

会不会有一点无奈 会不会有一点太快
可是你给我的爱 让我养成了依赖
心中充满爱的节拍

天天都需要你爱 我的心思由你猜
I love you 我就是要你让我每天都精彩。
天天把它挂嘴边 到底什么是真爱
I love you 到底有几分说得比想像更快

In recognition

Kodomo: Sensei, taking a walk? How coincidential, I didn't know you lived nearby. Do you do this often?

Sensei: In the past, maybe. I haven't done this for a long time.

Kodomo: Well, you have been lately particularly busy with the school's yearly drama play, being a new teacher and all. But seriously, it was the best I've ever seen! You seriously outdid yourself. It's no wonder you just suddenly took over the drama club as the one in charge with your talent. Now that it's all over, it really is the best Teacher's day gift you could ever have. Do you plan to head another play in the future?

Sensei: Child, I doubt I'd be planning to do another one anytime soon. Besides, I wasn't the one who decided to do the play, it was the school that passed it onto me, haha.

Kodomo: But nonetheless, it was great! I can't think of any other better Teacher's Day present than to get all that applause from a successful play! ...sensei, why're you crying? Did I say something wrong?

Sensei: ...oh, it's just the wind. Something got into my eye.

Kodomo: Well, then, sir, shouldn't you be, like, celebrating with your friends and family? ...sensei, are you well? You don't seem too well, y'know. Maybe you shouldn't be drinking too much beer when you walk around.

Sensei: Perhaps I really am not well. Child, may I ask you something?

Kodomo: Yes?

Sensei: You've managed to top one or two of a teacher's tests, right? Any teacher will do.

Kodomo: Well, sure! I'm usually the top boy for Literature.

Sensei: Well, then, how much effort did you put into getting to be the top boy every time?

Kodomo: Quite a bit, a few personal sacrifices such as compromising playing time had to be made.

Sensei: Yes, personal sacrifices for a small test. How much do you think I've put into this school play to make it so successful?

Kodomo: I'm sorry, but I don't know, sensei.

Sensei: Then let me tell you. I am this way as a result of placing too much hard work into the school play, something forced upon to me by the school. After all, a good school can't have mediocre things, can they? Just as you made your sacrifices, I made mine. Because of this play, I have lost much time with friends and family. I became unsociable. I stopped going out so much after school. I stopped chilling out at the club and all that.

Kodomo: ...I'm sorry to hear that, sensei. But you have time now, don't you? Why not make up for lost time?

Sensei: Sometimes, child, certain things aren't reversible. Instead of celebrating with my friends and family, I am here drinking beer and walking around by myself. I certainly do need to rekindle the lost links, but for now I must drown my sorrows. It is disheartening.

Kodomo: ...sorry to hear that again, sensei. It must be hard on you. But may I ask something?

Sensei: It is the job of a teacher to teach, child. What is it?

Kodomo: Why is it that despite such difficulties, you can still smile so much in school, sir? I am too young to understand.

Sensei: Haha, simple. Simply because I love teaching, child. The moment one enters class is always an enjoyable one. I like classes just like yours.

Kodomo: Yet you hide such sadness from the students to see. It must be a hard life.

Sensei: Well, we all have our hard times, don't we? We just have to learn and move on. Now excuse me while I throw my beer.

----------------------------------------------------

Oh, the tragedy behind beauty.

Conversations

Of late, it's been getting harder and harder to blog, for obvious reasons. Recently I've taken to using my trusty overseas book to pen down certain thoughts before I place them here (Almost the entire Riezz:EnK conversation was written there first), because well sometimes I just don't have the time to get down and blog. And I'm not alone, it's easy to tell that I'm not the only one blogging once a week or less.

Some of you may be wondering why this is a normal blogpost instead of a conversation, given how I've taken to them. Apart from time, I made another realization. I haven't been talking much about myself. While part of that is because I've a sibling who reads this, but that's irrelevent. Each and every conversation I wrote reflects an observation on my part, soemthing that happened or appeared that gave me this idea. On my part, I appreciate the compliments, but well. Conversation has a limit to its usefulness, after all drama is also about the silence that gets more across than the conversation that preceded it. Perhaps I've gotten less of a will to talk about myself and my life because of reasons like time, sis reading this, homework, and et cetera, but nonetheless it is present.

Maybe I've just wisened up and begun to take note of the fact that I've to work hard if I want my 36/45 points for IB at the end of the year. Or maybe I've just learnt that exposing your life to others isn't always such a good thing to do. Admittedly I've begun to know Klow less from talking to him, but more from reading his blog. But I don't silence my thoughts to hearing men only to voice it in visuals, so this doesn't benefit me.

Maybe it's the fact that a good number of people make misconceptions about what kind of person I am. It is always the case of the outward self against the inward self. When I portray my outward self too much, people like Darrell take it for granted and assume that's the me inside. Sure, I may be somewhat of an alpha male, but I can't really say that that's the reason why I don't take to Boey as well as I take to some others in class. Bryan's quite the egoist himself, I don't see ourselves getting along too badly. Darrell tells me next that I'm making enemies with my outward attitude. I ask him whom, and he can't answer. It's just weird being spoken of in a way that you aren't really.

I get calls from people while in class telling me that I'm being cynical again when I say something. I don't get it personally, after all I do believe that I've a better outlook and attitude towards life than a number of others. Yet few would see my view, Jarrel, Shaun, Klow, JX perhaps? Certainly more, but naming too many isn't the point. Jarrel told me that's because I'm speak out more often than the rest, hence my opinion is heard more. Makes sense, but the conclusion is difficult to take. When will this farcical and joking outwardly attitude of mine take over as my defining self instead of coexisting with my inner self? Who knows. Unlike Klow, few would bother to get to know me better. Curse or blessing? Who knows.

Nonetheless talking with those who know my better side is something to be thankful for. I am grateful for being able to sit next to JX, the ever underappreciated silent hero of our class. I doubt I'll be meeting anyone like him anytime soon anyway.

----------------------------------------------------

It's a world of laughter, a world of tears
It's a world of hopes and a world of fears
There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware
It's a small, small world.

There is just one moon and one golden sun
And a smile means friendship to everyone
Though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide
It's a small, small world.

It's a world of pain and a world of strife
But remember there still is joy in life,
Though fate may be your foe, know that you're not alone,
It's a small, small world.

Lie back where there's shade, feel the breezy wind,
Turn and see, there're more leaning on the tree,
Trees and grass, smiles and cries, clouds and skies, sweet goodbyes,
From the moon to the sun, it's all shared by everyone,
It's a small world after all!

-------------------------------------

Maybe I'm not that good at being a lyricist. >_>

The Sad, and The Pastor

The Sad: Don't think that I can take another empty moment. Don't think that I can fake another hollow smile. It's not enough just to be sorry; don't think that I could take another talk about it. No, you don't know what it's like when nothing feels alright; you don't know what it's like to be like me. There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, consuming, confusing what is real.

The Pastor: Sometimes, in our lives, we all have pain. We all have sorrow. But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow. Open your eyes, look up to the sky and see: It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away.

The Sad: I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.

The Pastor: There's nothing you can do that can't be done, nothing you can sing that can't be sung, nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game. It's easy. There's nothing you can make that can't be made, no one you can save that can't be saved. It's easy. All you need is love.

The Sad: What is love? Don't hurt me, no more. Everybody always gave you what you wanted! You never had to work! It was always there! You don't know what it's like! What is love?!

The Pastor: They say it's a river that circles the earth, a beam of light shining to the edge of the universe. It conquers all; it changes everything.

The Sad: The river is wide, I can't get o'er, nor do I have like wings to fly.

The Pastor: Though the mountains are wide and the oceans divide, souls in the wind must learn how to bend. Dreams see us through to forever, as high as souls can fly.

The Sad: You think you know what everyone needs! Shut up! Don't wanna hear it! Don't tell me who I should be and don't try to tell me what's right for me! Don't tell me what I should do!

The Pastor: Cause you had a bad day you're taking one down. You sing a sad song just to turn it around---

The Sad: You don't know what it's like! To be on the edge of breaking down and no one's there to save you, no you don't know what it's like. I'm a nightmare, a disaster, that's what they always say. You can sit there and judge me say what you want to, we'll never let you in! Why don't you walk away? No buildings will fall down. No quake will split the ground. The sun won't swallow the sky. Statues will not cry. In the end it doesn't even matter! Should you stay or should you go? Well, if you don't have the answer. Why are you still standin' here?

The Pastor: ...your excuses, they make me wanna scream. Just save my breath and walk away. What if I do nothing? What if I just turn my back on you? If I say nothing? What if I just walk away from you?

(The Pastor leaves.)

The Sad: ...Right now, hear me out now! You're gonna listen to me, like it or not! Don't turn your back on me! I won't be ignored!

The Pastor:...time won't heal this damage anymore.

---------------------------------------

Okay, I seriously need help with editing this. >_> This is seriously a very hard thing to try and pull off. Oh well >_>

Meanwhile:

[09:54:31 PM] +BryaN+ Th: herrick...
[09:54:40 PM] +BryaN+ Th: do you ever feel like breaking down?
[09:54:46 PM] +BryaN+ Th: do you ever feel out of place?
[09:54:47 PM] CRAWLLLLING : Do you ever feel out of place?
[09:54:52 PM] +BryaN+ Th: like somehow you just dont belong
[09:54:56 PM] CRAWLLLLING : Like somehow you just don't belong
[09:54:58 PM] +BryaN+ Th: and no one understands you?
[09:54:59 PM] CRAWLLLLING : And no one understands you
[09:55:04 PM] CRAWLLLLING : NO YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
[09:55:04 PM] +BryaN+ Th: ol
[09:55:06 PM] +BryaN+ Th: lol*
[09:55:15 PM] CRAWLLLLING : WHEN NOTHING SEEMS ALRIGHT
[09:55:22 PM] CRAWLLLLING : YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE LIKE ME
[09:55:26 PM] +BryaN+ Th: TO BE HURT
[09:55:29 PM] +BryaN+ Th: TO FEEL LOST
[09:55:33 PM] +BryaN+ Th: TO BE LEFT OUT IN THE DARK
[09:55:35 PM] CRAWLLLLING : TO BE KICKED
[09:55:37 PM] CRAWLLLLING : WHEN YOU'RE DOWN
[09:55:47 PM] CRAWLLLLING : TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE BEING PUSHED AROUND
[09:55:50 PM] +BryaN+ Th: TO BE ON THE EDGE OF BREAKING DOWN
[09:56:01 PM] +BryaN+ Th: AND NO ONE'S THERE TO SAVE YOU
[09:56:03 PM] CRAWLLLLING : NO YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
[09:56:07 PM] CRAWLLLLING : WELLLCOME TO MY LIFEEEEEEEEE
[09:56:07 PM] +BryaN+ Th: WELCOME TO MY LIFE

Riezz and the Eternal Wind

Eien no Kaze: I am the Eternal Wind, Riezz. That is all. Please, do speak.

Riezz: ...my apologies. It is rare to meet such an entity, let alone get to converse with it.

Eien no Kaze: I'm flattered, but it is indeed rare to converse with travellers.

Riezz: More your fault than mine. But honestly, what are you, anyway? The Eternal Wind cannot just be a mere breeze. Surely there is a reason as to why you are eternal.

Eien no Kaze: Haha, fine then. There're a few dead leaves around here, aren't there? *Some leaves blow into Riezz's hand* Throw them.

(Riezz throws them, and a sudden updraft brings up the centre, and the leaves in the centre soar up, followed by the surrounding ones. When they drop and fall, the ones in the centre are also the first.)

Eien no Kaze: can you hear it?

Riezz; Hear what?

Eien no Kaze: The voices.

Riezz: Faintly, but I know not to whom they belong to.

Eien no Kaze: The leaves, of course. Each and every leaf is calling out to be seen.

Riezz: Surely there is also the wind that lets to silent leaf speak.

Eien no Kaze: There is no trick. There is only life in me.

Riezz: Life?

Eien no Kaze: Life. it is as simple as that. Everything is set into motion by life. For those long gone who wish to move again, I am there to revive them temporarily.

Riezz: Truly? How much life can one feel he has, then?

Eien no Kaze: As much as it surrounds him. To he who runs with it, it surrounds him and is left behind in trails to challenge others. To he that runs against it, he fights the life of others. To he by the flames, it turns hot and burns with passion. To he by the sea, it would smell of the bravery of the sailors. To he by the pastures, nature's susurruses are calm and relaxing. To those whom machinery breezes past, it is but a magnification and reflection shown in the driver. And to travellers like you, the wind is but a haven that keeps you walking, is it not?

Riezz: Perhaps. Then who are you, that you are eternal?

Eien no Kaze: I am what's left of the voices of those whose spirits have triumphed over death and continue to live on in me.

Riezz: And yet you feel so majestic. Surely there be many unsung voices among that chorus of winds.

Eien no Kaze: indeed so, come breathe in the soul of an unsung one I found in the North.

Riezz: ...coffee?

Eien no Kaze: Yes, a rare one indeed. This breed lives only in the Northern plains, and is delicate to every action you make.

Riezz: A magnificent breed indeed. The aroma is rich and wonderful.

Eien no Kaze: There are many heroes like him, true masters of their art, living idealistically to carry on what they felt was most important in their lives. Interesting how one such person felt coffee was it, eh?

Riezz: Surely a triviality can be heroic as such as well.

Eien no Kaze: Haha, indeed. Travelling, after all, is but a triviality as well.

Riezz: Please don't make me sound noble. However, may I inquire as to one last thing?

Eien no Kaze: What would it be?

Riezz: May I try cutting you? I just happen to have this sword I bore from someone I met some time ago.

Eien no Kaze: What interesting thoughts the traveller has! I shall entertain you then. Go ahead, and try to cut me.

(Riezz runs, and does a straight slice through Eien no Kaze, then smiles, as if learning something.)

Riezz: This is a sharp sword that can cut steel effortlessly. It bears the soul of a person I met in the past, and in addition the souls of those it has taken. Yet despite tearing apart the very lives of humans, it cannot cut you. It has been said that one who cannot be cut is like the wind, for it is there once, and soon it is gone. I suppose, they are right?

Eien no Kaze: Haha, heavens no! The wind will always be there, it will never be gone. But do you understand why I cannot be cut?

Riezz: Because you are the wind?

Eien no Kaze: Fool, no! It is because I am the Eternal Wind, that which bears that which has already conquered death! Which man who has faced the grim reaper would shudder when meeting an assassin?

Riezz and the Rich Son

Riezz: And why are you alone?

Hikcrestni: Because no one wants to play with me.

Riezz: And why does no one want to play with you?

Hikcrestni: Because they see no value in me as a friend, and only see value in the money I bear.

Riezz: Why surely there is reason to that. Is there?

Hikcrestni: There is none; I am rich, nothing more to them. Naught of my thoughts, naught of my will, naught of anything else.

Riezz: I see, then. What is that you're using?

Hikcrestni: Oh, just some other laptop. Dad bought me this one because it was particularly high in quality in terms of technological prowness. The triple-processors on this make its efficiency for programs very good, even the most taxing of games is nothing to my 4 gigahertz laptop with 3.27 gigs of RAM.

Riezz: I apologize, but I'm somewhat unfamiliar with some terminologies, but I can gather enough just from the gist of it. What game are you playing right now, anyway? The graphics I see aren't usually so impressive.

Hikcrestni: Isn't it? My dad has connections, so he managed to get the Prerelease Limited Edition Diablo III Set. It's currently sold out and they have plans for waiting some time to patch up some stuff based on feedback before they release the official one. It did cost a bunch, though. Heard it was around $300 for the set alone. One of the most taxing games on my laptop, too.

Riezz: I see. A rarity indeed in your hands you have.

Hikcrestni: Well, what do you expect? There has to be payoffs for being so discriminated.

Riezz: May I try having a go at this game?

Hikcrestni: I don't mind, but I highly doubt that you are capable of actually mastering the game so easily.

Riezz: Haha, that's true. I guess I'll just walk around a bit first.

(Riezz walks across the playground and next sees a bunch of children gathered around another laptop of significantly inferior quality.)

Riezz: Another one, but less impressive. What game is this?

John: Oh, it's Street Fighter II!

Riezz: Certainly looks fun. How much would that have cost you?

Jack: Oh, how expensive it is is irrelevent, we all pooled in some cash together to get this game for Jane's birthday. This way the $70 pricetag can easily be conquered!

Riezz: Haha, true indeed. So two people fight each other by choosing characters?

Jill: Yeah! And it's really fun, too! Every game is always different because different strategies and tactics are used everytime! It's a game of outwitting your opponent and using the best methods to beat your enemy!

Riezz: Well, sounds fun. May I try?

Jane: Sure thing! It's really easy to play!

(Riezz plays a few games with them, and walks back to where Hikcrestni is)

Hikcrestni: Where were you?

Riezz: Playing a few games with 4 kids under the slide.

Hikcrestni: Hmph, them.

Riezz: And you've been playing that game all this time?

Hikcrestni: Duh. Good games take time to complete.

Riezz: But this seems awfully repetitive, doesn't it. I've saw you kill the same monsters in this area just now. Why keep at it?

Hikcrestni: Friend, it's called farming. I'm looking for this rare item that only Obsidian Guardians drop, and this is where they spawn the most.

Riezz: Seems less fun than what they were doing. Why don't you play multiplayer games like fighters?

Hikcrestni: What were they playing?

Riezz: Uh, Street Fighter II, I believe.

Hikcrestni: Haha, that's old. I'll show you the latest one. It's Street Fighter IV Beta. Isn't it amazing and cool? I play this alot when I get bored with Diablo.

Riezz: Well, I guess that's fine and all, but how'd you play a fighting game by yourself? Aren't humans better to play against?

Hikcrestni: Please, did any of them actually play well? I can just set the difficulty AI to Lunatic here and it'll be five times tougher than whatever those kids can do. That's not to say that I can't beat it then. But well, I don't play this game too much. It gets boring quickly. The AI can't match my skill.

Riezz: Ok... just one question?

Hikcrestni: Entertained.

Riezz: Why are you alone?

Hikcrestni: Because no one wants to play with me.

Riezz: And why does no one want to play with you?

Hikcrestni: Because they see no value in me as a friend, and only see value in the money I bear.

Riezz: Why surely there is reason to that. Is there?

Hikcrestni: There is none; I am rich, nothing more to them. Naught of my thoughts, naught of my will, naught of anything else.

Riezz: Is it their fault they see naught of your thoughts, your will, or anything else?

Hikcrestni: You expect me to spoonfeed my life to them?

Riezz: You expect them to be so gracious to you? Let me ask you instead: Why do you not like playing simple fighter games?

Hikcrestni: Because the Lunatic AI bores me.

Riezz: ...well, fine.

Hikcrestni: Well, that's been alot of questions, I hope you realize. Now I do have to go back to farming. These Blood Swords sell for alot on D3 Online.

Riezz: Fair.

(Riezz goes onto the swing and sits down. In one corner he sees Hikcrestni playing and smiling. In the other he sees Jane, Jack, Jill and John playing and smiling.)

Fragmentations

I do not think I shall be blogging for a while.

Honestly, I do wonder what this blog is for. When I first made a blog, I thought that it'd be useful for chroniclizing my life, but instead you can tell that the blog isn't actually much of a diary. I must of course thank it for keeping track of what kind of person I've been up till now, though.

But look at it. This blog has turned from a blog of randomness into a blog of quizzes into a blog of games into a blog of stories. Somehow my blog has turned from 149 to 1000 to 8333 visitors, 5 per day to 10 to for some reason, 35 right now.

Some people respect me for what I write. I mean, Year 5 people read my blog, that means people irrelevent to my normal school life read my blog. Karan thinks I write well. I uh appreciate that. But see, what has that done for my image?

I write stories that reflect what I see in life. But why are they so mystical and fantastical? I'm confused on what to do with my stories too. I've just too many conversations in mind to actually write them all down at once.

Reading the Crucible is in addition making me wonder if I should write my own similar play. I mean, a play in text is ultimately conversations between people, right? This would just be an extension. But that would give it a Singaporean element. And that isn't what I've been doing up to now. In fact, I really find it hard to see how this blog really gives off any particular Singaporean vibes, except for maybe one or two blogposts ABOUT Singapore. See. Now my writing's at a standstill again.

...as you can see I'm doing this to loosen my mind of thoughts so I can get back to homework. Fragmentations out. Maybe the next time I'm here I'll be more certain of my blog's identity, haha. >_>

The origin of Riezz

Hmm. My memory's wrong. I changed very little to get my recent character. Oh well.

I don't know why I'm posting this, but hey, it's a trip down memory lane for me. I certainly don't remember Riezz coming from a fridge >_>

------------------------------------

Herr: Well, seems like I'm going to have to come up with a new name soon. Pity, Demel was a nice name.
Herr: I realise that if I keep this up, when I leave ACSI I'll have at least 5 personas.
ZQ: not necessarily, if dt doesn announce it
Herr: good point. Well, i need a name.
Herr: I could use Mera, but people'll think that a girl has been frequenting te boards lately, and Mike would know on the spot.
ZQ: lets think of one now. u wan a jap one?
Herr: Jap? Nah.
ZQ: as in the pronunciation
Herr: I dunno. There's another name I used to like: Aska. Does it sound like a girl's name?
ZQ: more feminine than masculine
Herr: Meh. I knew it. I need something that doesn't sound too americanized. Demel and Mera were nice names.
ZQ: askal? sounds less feminish rite
Herr: Askal? Akbar! lol.
ZQ: lol
Herr: Asoka! Meh. I'm losing my life.
ZQ: not reali
Herr: Well, I'm at 1hp, and I usually have 143, so I'm really losing my life.
Herr: Man, that's just so lame.
ZQ: ...
Herr: Maybe I should try another Jap name.
ZQ: mera was jap?
Herr: Demel was quite Jappish and Mera was pretty jap. Aska was a shortened Asuka.
ZQ: hmm
Herr: Kana, miho, niho, saya... Man, I'm suffering female withdrawal symptoms.
ZQ: i keep thinkin bout reizouko all of a sudden
Herr: Lol.
ZQ: how bout reizz
Herr: Reizz?
ZQ: lol
Herr: Cool, sounds like a nice name. I guess I'll take on that name for a while.

Mera and Hippocrates

Mera: So you charged the two for indecent behaviour?

Hippocrates: Certainly I did. Acting so lewdly in public! The society shall have none of that. It has not been the first time. I have seen them do this before, and it has always been just as lewd. Surely these children must be punished.

Mera: It may be so, but are they not children? Surely the path must be an embracing one, not one sharded with thorns.

Hippocrates: Do you think embracing sin will help them? They are against the society, dear ma'am. I have made an oath, and I shall fulfill it.

Mera: By reporting to authorities? Realize, mister, that you could have done this yourself. You could very well have stood up for authority by yourself.

Hippocrates: And what, have them mock me in my face? These are corrupt children, dear ma'am. What I do will not work on them. Only the cane of justice will.

Mera: And you feel good about it.

Hippocrates: What? What are you saying?

Mera: It's useless hiding from me. I can see your emotions. Your aura. It's ever bright. Bright with the pride you bear for a job well done.

Hippocrates: Certainly so! In what way have I done wrong? I have brought justice. Is that not enough?

Mera: Justice? Heh, law. Say, your name is Hippocrates, correct?

Hippocrates: Indeed it is. Why?

Mera: Haha. The irony. Surely, things are not as they seem.

Hippocrates: I do not understand you. Please.

Mera: Does it matter? You have done a good job, Hippocrates. But reconsider your oath.

------------------------------------------

Because Jun Yi and Gid have done so. And worry not about Mera's 5th line. It'll be explained later.

Riezz, and, uh, Karan

Too many conversations in my mind, my mind asplode lawlz. Honestly, it's hard to resist writing when you have like 10 stories in your head. It just loses its charm really quick. Writing about life is unique. But before I write about unique life, I must find uniqueness in mundane life. And after a long time you realize repeating trends occur. So yeah, my head is stuck for now >_>

On another note, I have been surprised somewhat. It seems more people read my blog than I take credit for. Quote conversation between Jarrel, Karan and I.

Karan: Hey Jarrel who's this fella
Jarrel: Herrick Ong; you probably don't know him.
Karan: Hmm, heard of him somewhere.
Jarrel: Uh, what?
Moi: Hmm o_O
Karan: I think I've seen his name on a number of blogs. Like, Michael Wee links to him. Zhang Quan links to him...
Jarrel: Ronald Ip?
Karan: Yeah, Ronald links to him...
Moi: Yeah, Ronald links to me. Dunno why he likes reading my blog.
Karan: Hmm. Wait, are you jokerus.blogspot.com?
Moi: Uhh, yeah.
Karan: *Sticks out hand*
Moi: Uhh o_O
Karan: I like your stories, they're very nice.
Moi: Uhhhhhh. Ok... *Shakes hand*

Well, that explains the larger amount of people reading my blog even though Japanese viewage has decrease. Nonetheless I feel somewhat curious. If any of you read this blog, do comment and state your name, well, or your alias >_> I'm rather curious as to how many people actually read my blog.

And uhh includes people from my class. I don't know who actually reads my blog. I mean, Jarrel Seah said his dad read my blog once. I'm like uber o_O.

>_> *blatant* Readers who know me well enough are also recommended to fill out my Johari/Nohari. >___________>

Riezz and Feceof

Riezz: Just a regular cappuccino, please.

The owner: Certainly. A regular coming right up. And you would be?

Riezz: Just a mere travell\er by the name of Riezz. And the man brewing for me is?

The owner: Just a mere restaurant owner by the name of Feceof. Your tea, sir.

Riezz: Not just any mere restaurant owner, Mr. This traveler here can ascertain that this is a far higher standard quality of coffee, just from the smell. Surely the beans you use are not normal. Are they from the North?

Feceof: Surely you cannot be a mere traveler to know that. May I inquire as to how you could tell such?

Riezz: I have had the opportunity of knowing their aroma; An enticing bittersweet smell, strong yet natural, sweet yet bold. These coffee beans are a rare breed indeed. But this is the Western region. Surely their lifespan is too short to import. Explain please, how you have such rarities on hand.

Feceof: Certainly, but how do you know they are rarities?

Riezz: A traveler experiences the most magnificent of the most trivial, and drinking coffee happens to be a triviality.

Feceof: Well said. Come over here, then. I cannot bring you into my garden, but I presume a window would satisfy just as well.

Riezz: Definitely; what value does a rarity bear if you can hold it? But I must inquire nonetheless. It is of no doubt that you brew the best coffee in the region, but you could've chosen to place your restaurant in a less desolate location. I forsee three men at most crossing this road per quarter.

Feceof: I certainly have thought about it; why not share this wonder with everyone in the city? I would get rich quickly.

Riezz: Then what holds you back?

Feceof: A simple idea. Should it not be those who seek out rarities be those who get them? My restaurant lies along this road to reward travelers who seek. And for those who chance upon this minor stop in life? But an incentive for them to continue. A triviality, if magnificent, is no triviality, no?

Riezz: Certainly, but I see that as no motivation for making such a beautiful restaurant.

Feceof: Is there a need for motivation? I have a rarity here with my coffee. I will share it, but I rather my coffee remain a rarity. If a sage lived for a thousand years instead of eighty, there would be no longer any magnificence in asking him trivial questions. I would much like my coffee to keep its magnificence.

Riezz: Well, fair...

Feceof: Surely too much has been said about me. You are the traveler, are you not? I am but a minor stop in life. I do not have the privilege to see my fair share of magnificence outside of this stop. May you spare me a story or two?

Riezz: A story I have, but is it not a triviality to listen?

Feceof: Not from a traveler who knows such details in the trivialities of coffee.

Riezz: Fair. *Tells Feceof of a conversation between Riezz and Eien no Kaze.*

Feceof: Intriguing certainly. To know the aroma of such a rare blend of coffee from a rumour in the wind surely is something rarely heard.

Riezz: As I said. A traveller does have his share of magnificence in trivialities.

Feceof: And what do you do when you realize its presence?

Riezz: I continue, and wander on in search of others.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Woe. It is hard to write when your mind is so distracted by Shoot the Bullet. Curse you Touhou >_>

Herr and the Father

I wanted to make a nice post between Riezz and the Flowergirl, but after something that happened just a few minutes ago, I must write something else, because this is pissing me off so bad.

My dad and I were at Courts, because I was looking for some long earphones or something to buy Wesley, or at least those earphone extensions etc.

Two of us split up (He has to buy an optical mouse) and I look for my earphones. After a while, he meets me and finds out I'm not sure where the earphones are. He points and we head there, and look around through the earphones area. Longest was a 1.2m. How long was that in comparison to normal iPod earphones? Hmm, neither of us knew. Easiest way? Ask.

Two of us head over to a sales assistant walking around on the phone (No.1), and my dad decides to ask him. He points to two others at a side sitting down at some counter. My dad is damn pissed, going on about "What kind of service attitude is this?!"

But we head over to the two fellers anyway. They ask what we need help with, and my dad tells one of them to "go to him" (Him being me of course), and meanwhile scolds the other (No.2) about their bad service attitude, wanting to see the manager and all that. I couldn't care less.

(He's been doing so before, and a number of times with the whole family around. Everyone's shown some dislike towards his actions, but he goes on anyway. I really didn't expect for him to do this in the short few minutes where we would just go to Courts for such a short while. =\)

Meanwhile I ask the other feller (No.3) about earphones, the normal iPod earphone lengths, and about extension cords linking the iPod to the earphones. He tells me that the normal iPod earphone is around 1.5m long, and 1.2m is just too short if I want anything longer than an iPod earphone. Darn. I ask about the extension cords, and he tells me that you can buy them in Courts as well. Huh? I ask where they are, and he brings me to them. All this somehow without me getting pissed, or him doing anything remotely close to being deserving of me getting pissed. Maybe it's because I SMILED AND ASKED QUESTIONS NICELY.

As we walk over to another corner of Courts, I turn my head and see my dad talking to No.1, No.2, and the manager. I overhear No.1 apologizing and explaining that he is explaining some stuff to another customer on the phone. I overhear my dad not caring, and continuing to complain to the manager on the apparant shit that the company provides.

Me: Sorry. My father's kinda like that.
No.3: Haha......

He shows me the cords, some being 5m, some being 2m, and the one I picked was 1.2m. Nifty. My dad comes over, pissed, and asks No.3 about how the lengths of the earphones are. I tell him that it's 1.2m in addition to the 1.5m the iPod earphones already have; certainly more than enough.

He decides to ask another random sales assistent as to where the counter is, as if just to try and have more things to scold the manager for. He points his finger in a painfully obvious way, and my dad realizes that the counter was in bloody plain sight. Even I could've told him that. We head to the counter, and he particularly apathetically pays up with his card, etc. I don't really see the cashier being too pleased with such behaviour either.

As we are done, we begin to head out. But my damn father says "Wait a minute, I need to talk to the manager" and goes to the manager AND COMPLAINS SOME MORE. I don't know how long he took. I don't know how much time was spent with me asking No.3 nicely about earphones, but I know sadly all that time he's been scolding No.1 and 2, and the manager.

No.3 and I look at each other. I sigh and shake my head in resignation. He laughs silently. We move away from the commotion.

After a while, he comes to me, and tells me that we're leaving. At the exit is a security guard bowing and saying "Thank you for shopping" to people leaving. He says that to my dad, and he just waves his hand at him indignantly. He bows to me silently, and I bow back. He looks at me, and smiles. I smile back.

We enter the car. I am pissed.

Me: Dad, can you not do that next time?
Dad: Why not? It is my right to expect good service. As a customer I have to be treated as such.
Me: Did you have to go and shout at a person who unfortunately was on the phone attending to ANOTHER CUSTOMER, call for the damn manager, make such a big fuss out of the entire thing?
Dad: Why not? They provide such shit services. And they talk about Singapore wanting to have better standards of service!!!
Me: Do you seriously think that shouting at them every single damn time they make a mistake is going to improve bloody service standards?
Dad: WHY NOT? WAKE THE WHOLE COMPANY UP!
Me (Oh, my gosh. This guy is braindead.)
Dad: You must know your rights. You don't be foolish like that. You see like that, Singapore how to bloody improve their standards?
Me: Maybe think for a while and realize perhaps that you may very well be the cause, and not the consequence.

*We meet up at minor traffic jam because of some weird thing going on*

Dad: See lah! Another zhar bo!
Me: Then go! Shout at him all you like! Go!

*Traffic jam ends*

Dad: You don't know your rights.
Me: You don't know that I had to apologize for you.
Dad: APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT?
Me: Because you were bloody embarrasing me!
Dad: Look, what right do they have to make you apologize?
Me: It wasn't a right! It was an obligation! I WANTED to apologize!
Dad: You don't be foolish. You think by being divine like that will work? Like that Singapore's service standards will never improve!
Me: Do I have to apparently be this divine being that you think I am? What if I just wanted to bloody save face?
Dad: WHY IS THERE A NEED TO SAVE FACE WHEN YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT?
Me: There is a damn difference between right that is legal and one that is moral! I don't care if you're only concerned about the legal part, BUT I CARE ABOUT THE MORAL PART!
Dad: I don't
Me: DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT OTHERS TO DO UNTO YOU. You shouted at them back there, and I'm shouting at you right now!
Dad: OK! I'M PERFECTLY FINE WITH THAT!
Me: ...glad to hear that... (No he didn't hear that)
Dad: But I tell you this now, you had no reason to do that. Remember that YOU are MY son. What moral was there? Huh?
Me: So it's wrong to apologize to someone because...argh. (I just couldn't take it. I was beginning to cry.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------

At home:

Dad: Are you still angry?
Me: YES.
Dad: You don't have to be angry, y'know.
Me: ........................................
Dad: It's just that small thing
Me: It's not just that, Dad. I've been angry at you for years. This is
Dad: What?
Me: NEVER MIND.

Then,

Dad: Ok, you listen. I explain. It's against company law to use a handphone at work. That guy was calling his friend and making personal phone calls, then I wanted to ask him a question, then talk to him and tell him that is not allowed. But he had the cheek to just shove me away and refer me to two other people to answer my question, you get what I mean anot?

Meanwhile I stare at the computer screen. Whatever he has said has not been enough to justify what he has done.

Now:

Dad: Son, listen to me.
Me: *Looking at computer screen*
Dad: Listen to me.
Me: Yes, I'm listening.
Dad: Then look at me. That is the basic minimal courtesy.
Me: And this is the minimal courtesy you provided for those other people.
Dad: Then what about the courtesy that the man provided me with?
Me: (Can't argue with that) *Turns around* Ok, I'm looking at you now.
Dad: So?
Me: ...now you don't even care about the basic courtesy.
Dad: ...look son, you have a right. But I have one too. I was going to say that if you really wanted to, I would go and stop doing such things in front of everyone when you are around. I was going to.
Me: Then why weren't you?
Dad: Because
Me: Because I turned my head around?!
Dad: *pissed, turns his head around*

Good riddance, Dad. Good riddance. Just please, stop trying and pretending to be so noble. You. Are. Not.

Someone help me.

Frozen Rain

Riezz: Staring at the rain again, Eis? I understand your appreciating beauty in such things, but personally for me it feels somewhat depressing consistently looking at the descending waters.

Eisregen: It is not natural for a traveller like you, Riezz, to be able to appreciate that which goes down and not across. I cannot blame you for that. But surely you can at least understand the emotions lying in each and every drop?

Riezz: A traveller sees much of the world in passing, he sees the brief but not the concise.

Eisregen: When one sees the rain, he may feel depressed in its gloom. When one sees the rain, he may feel happy in knowing that he may soon see a rainbow. When one sees the rain, he may feel annoyed for his soccer game is ruined. When I see the rain, I stay silent and listen to its voices. Each and every emotion is reflected in each of these lucid drops that decend from heaven. Abundance coming from a single strand.

Riezz: Surely it is the man and not the rain that makes it so deep.

Eisregen: Perhaps, but one cannot deny the myraids of emotion that form when a man pierces through every single drop of water with his eyes alone. Just as how light that pierces through the rain would reveal the rainbow that formed it, the eyes that pierce through the rain would reveal the heart that shaped those eyes.

Riezz: If water alone could show such human beauty, then what of the man himself?

Eisregen: If the water is anything but clear, the rainbow that comes from it will be distorted. It will be fake. If a man sees that his emotions have been invoked by an unclear conscience, his resulting emotions are just as murky. They will be fake. Only the clearest conscience can reflect the truest emotions. For none have that, there is the rain.

Riezz: What of yourself, then? Surely the rain of ice must have comments about himself.

Eisregen: I am frozen in time even as I descend, but does that matter? Light refracts, whether the water is frozen or not. The conscience, is it different? One is frozen in ice, the other flows as water. But ultimately they are one medium in different states; the same man under different circumstances. Perhaps if you place me in a desert my name may very well drop the Eis, but until then I shall stay here and view the passing rain.

Riezz: One last question, then.

Eisregen: Entertained.

Riezz: What of me, the traveller?

Eisregen: Would the frozen rain ever understand the feelings of the passing rain? That which is frozen cannot understand the feeling of being brought by wind, going across in addition to down.

Lao Shi

I really didn't feel like doing anything. Blogging, studying, anything.

Today was my first time in my life visiting someone in NUH. Previously I was too young to visit my mom while she was in the hospital. All I saw was someone who consistently got balder and balder with each day until she wore a wig. I never could particularly feel for my mother at that point of time.

I sincerely have to thank Mr. Kenneth Seah who offered to fetch Ming Hao, SZ and I back to school, and when hearing that SZ and I were going to NUH to see Mdm. Loo Shek Kien, offered to bring us directly to NUH. Despite being a fairly new driver and not a very confident one either, he decided to help the two of us go to NUH, and for that I thank you, sir.

Previously when I read a blogpost about someone who went to see Mdm, I was thinking of writing a conversation between Riezz and the teacher who cared for her students too much.

SZ and I continued down towards Wing 2, South entrance. Over there we went to visit her.

There comes a point of time, where one realizes that conversations can only bring so far. Words are wonderful, but they can never be nearly as powerful a tool as silence. Unfortunately many don't realize that, myself included. There is a limit to human conversation. There is a limit to speech. There is a limit to how much can truly be conveyed in a sentence.

Short to say, I won't be writing that conversation anytime soon. It will say nothing.

DDRer and Frost

I am immensely pissed. >_>

"Thinking about TNN, I still think Herrick should have been given the power of Dance Dance Revolution, or even better, ITG. Stomping on your opponent rhythmically at 14.7Hz would be superbly painful. For that matter, Daniel could try and help with the music, and I could help with the speed mods to make the arrows appear more clearly."

RARR YOU FOOL I CHOSE FROST NOT KLOW RARR. I really cannot imagine this.

*For some weird reason Speedster fights DDRer (Pronounced Dee Drur >_>)*

*Flurry of kicks from DDRrer, which Speedster defends easily*
"It seems you are able to defend against my freestyle attacks, Speedster" says DDRer, whose kicks flow one after another.
"I am the Speedster. I can catch and defend against even speeding bullets! You have no hope of"
*DDRer steps on Speedster's foot*
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

>_> Honestly. Once is amusing, but damnit this has got to be the lamest power ever.

"I am the head prefect. I shall book you with black dots and ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"I am Tieman. I shall wrap you up in ties. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"I'm Harry! Mommy's love protects me! You have no chance of ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

...someone enlighten me as to why there is a person out there who thinks that I should be DDRer instead of Frost >_>

Detesting fragmentations

Bryan has asked me to blog. >_> I have very little to talk about, considering I myself don't like talking about alot of things hence do not blog about alot over here. >_> Nonetheless today has been rather immense bs for me. I was, short to say, too pissed off/too depressed (Well, not really) to want to be chairman for the next 6 hours, so I requested that Kevin Wong take over the role temporarily. Eventually all that he did was lock the door and unlock it, me doing everything else anyway. Thanks, Kev. >_>

Oh well, at least I didn't have to handle the key for 6 hours. Good enough. >_>

I suppose I wouldn't be so annoyed if Sam Chan didn't shout at me a few days ago about me being irresponsible and not asserting my authority enough, causing the key to be lost again. Though I didn't like him primarily basing the fault on me for Bryan losing the key, I couldn't really fault him either. Then, this morning during SJAB Comm Meeting, I asked Kwong if he called anyone to ask him to take the key. He said he didn't because he had faith in them to go and take the key. Fair enough. End of comm meeting, I try to get lunch since I didn't manage to buy anything in the breaktime given during the meeting, but the bell rings too quickly and I cannot, and I end up running up the stairs instead, Kwong going on ahead since I tried to take lunch. Near the yellow level, I see Kyle coming down, annoyed. I ask him what, but I already knew what happened.

No one took the bloody key.

DARGH. How stupid can you all get? It's perfectly fine if you all don't get the key at 7.00 since we may be a bit late, and stretching it A BIT at 7.10 since we may go to get the key on our way up, but bloody hell, if it's 7.15 and you see neither Kwong nor I around, nor our bags, then can someone bloody go get the key? There are some things under my responsibility, I admit that. The first key being lost was Kwong's and my fault primarily. The second key was Bryan's fault primarily, but I had a part for letting such things happen. This kind of damn incompetence and stupidity is not, damnit. Argh.

I know Sam Chan meant to scold me the first time, but applying his words now... man. The irony just reeks.

----------------------------------------------

Originally intended to have another conversation here, but after stopping it 1/2way yesterday and attempting to continue it today, I realize that I have to actually write conversations in 1 sitting (or is it seating, someone tell me plz >_>) if I want them to turn out well. Oh well. >_>

Undo

Cool Joke - Undo (FMA 3rd OP)

遠く　遠く　想い果てなく
二人が　無邪気に笑ってた
あの頃に戻れるなら...

こなごなに砕けた
ガラス細工のような
思い出の破片(カケラ)を集めてる
大事なモノはいつだって
失くしてから気づくよ

君がいない世界は
まるでジグソーパズル
永遠に欠けたまま未完成
誰にも君の代わりなんて
なれるはずはないから

どうか　どうか　時間を止めて
君の面影をこの胸に刻んでくれ
もしも　もしも　許されるなら
すべてを犠牲にしてもいい
あの笑顔をもう一度...

現実という鎖に
僕達は繋がれて
夢見ることさえも叶わずに
それでも探し続けてる
闇を照らす光を

遠く　遠く　想い果てなく
二人が　無邪気に笑ってたあの頃へ
どうか　どうか　時間を止めて
君の面影をこの胸に刻んでくれ
もしも　もしも　許されるなら
すべてを犠牲にしてもいい
あの笑顔をもう一度...

もう一度...

Translation of Undo

----------------------------------------------------

Riezz: Reminis, why do you sit on this railing, staring down upon the town from this hill? You only go down to the town once a year, otherwise everytime you are here, viewing the world from up here. Are there not those who care for you, those who wish to see you with them down on the streets, walking alongside them, playing alongside them, studying alongside them?

Reminis: Certainly there used to. I used to play Zeropoint with them in school. Five Stones. Marbles. There were more, of course, but I suppose I shouldn't be boring you with the details, should I? I still remember how we would walk down the cooler streets, play the fun games, study the harder subjects... but alas, that is no more. How many years has it been since I have went down there, anyway? It feels just like yesterday, but I'm sure that it's been longer.

Riezz: Reminis, it's been five years since you've seen any of your friends. Why don't you go down? Surely there has been a reason to keep you from doing this? Seeing as how you used to do so much with them everyday...

Reminis: Riezz, you have gone through as much of life as I have. Back when we changed schools, we made a promise on the seventh last day of school. It was that on that exact time, the exact place, the exact date, we would return together in this place in the year that followed. I returned to the 47th square from the end of the school foyer, and went there at 1.52pm, 46 seconds past, the exact same time we put our hands together and said Yea to our eternal friendship.

Riezz: What happened then?

Reminis: No one was there. I waited for one hour. No one came. Suddenly, I just felt that they would never come. They never would. But I still wanted to believe that our friendship, started by us, made by us, bonded by us, formed by us, it was still eternal. So I waited for one year, and went to the exact same place again. But I could not.

Riezz: Why so?

Reminis: The area was under renovation. I could no longer find the exact square. I no longer knew where it would be. Who knew, that such an important reunion between friends after two long years could be ruined because of renovation works? I was heartbroken. I could get the time, I could get the date, and I almost got the location. But I could not, as the area was renovated. Then, I understood why I couldn't meet up with them that year, nor the year before. It was because everyone else had moved on. They had continued on with their lives. And eventually, the school had moved on as well, changing its appearances. I felt sad. Had I realized this a year earlier, I would have hunted down each and every friend for this meeting, to remind them of what the past was like. But then a second year had passed, I was no longer in their memories, they have moved on and left me behind, and even if I tried to chase them they were already too far. I cried.

Riezz: Then what did you do after that? You must have moved on after that realization.

Reminis: Move on I did. I decided that if I was unable to confront them ever again, I would at least be able to observe them from afar. And that is what I do now, sitting upon this railing along this hill, watching down from above at them. Look, my friend just left the department store. Oh, and over there my friend's at an arcade with his girlfriend. I had never expected him to get one. how times change, huh?

Riezz: Why don't you at least try confronting them?

Reminis: It has been too long. They have forgotten me. And even if they do not, I cannot forget them. The past them, from five years past. I will not be able to forgive myself. I do not want to dictate their past. By now they have forgotten it and have no more use for it, only heading for the future. I, on the other hand, have forgotten none of it, only recalling the past. It is because of that that I stay on this hill, silently seeing everything in silent appreciation that everyone can move on except for me, and thankful that none shall end up in my footsteps.

Riezz: And what if one does?

Reminis: Then the time will come where they may speak the same story to you as I have. But what can I say? I govern the past, not the future.

-----------------------------------------------------

Meh. Didn't turn out too nicely. Btw, Riezz does not have any particular meaning to its name. I just like it. >_>

SZ's bro

I apologize for not putting this up two days ago, since I came back home at 10.40pm after being at the arcade from 2pm to 10pm.

I also apologize for not putting this up yesterday, as I was too tired from constantly sleeping at 12+. Sleeping at 12 and waking at 10 apparently didn't make the cut for getting my energy back up.

I lastly apologize for not putting this up earlier than two days ago, as I seriously did not have much to blog about.

SJAB Day is really, nothing I would like to mention over here. I didn't like it, and probably neither did alot of other people. Let's comment as little as possible on this subject.

Let us also comment naught on Youth Day, of which I was only a participant of 1/2 the time due to me being in Full U the other half.

Let us comment instead, on the trip we made to Plaza Sing proceeding that.

Bryan, SZ, Darren Low, Cleon and I headed to Plaza Sing because I heard something about Star Factory getting GGXX/. So hopped onto 196 we did, and got to Dhoby Ghaut via MRT. But first, X-Zone ftw.

I played like $7 worth, Cleon borrowed $8, and I treated $2-4 or so. My $37-9 dollars in my Tapz has been reduced drastically to a $19. Lol.

First we head over to GGXX, and I own this Chipp n00b while SZ and Darren duke it out on MvC2. After many times of owning him, we stop and head over to other places. We play, like, a seriously heck lot. But I got owned by this Chipp and this pro hax Dizzy that owned SZ's Slayer. Like, lol, considering SZ was so confident in owning the Dizzy and not so confident in owning the Chipp. By the way, he owned the Chipp. >_>

Proceeded to play some Neogeo Battle Colosseum. Mars People is ownage. Rock Howard is cool. Sheu Zhi's Haohmaru is the most broken thing I've ever seen. But enough about SZ's Haohmaru. Damn you Haohmaru. Btw, Neogeo Battle Colosseum is immensely cool. Kaede ftw. I mean, he's like lol stun edge. >_>

Then we all played Super Bishi Bishi Bash and Hyper Bishi Bishi Bash. Gosh, Darren is good at it. Then was Para Para, and uhh. Cleon and SZ ftw yo >_>

Darren: Let's eat Mos Burger.
Me: Hmm
Cleon: NOOO. You know how ex that place is.
Darren: Let's put a majority vote. Everyone votes Mos Burger, right? Let's go Mos Burger.
Cleon, Bryan: We disagree, this isn't majority.
Me: Uhh
SZ: What's Mos Burger?
Me, Cleon, Bryan, Darren: o_O
Darren: SZ, it's Japanese.
SZ: ZOMG. Let's go Mos Burger.
Darren: Ok, it's decided, we're going Mos Burger.
Everyone: o_O
SZ: >_>

After that, at Star Factory, the unbelievable occurs. SZ's Bro turns up.

SZ's Bro: Hey SZ let's play MvC2
SZ: Ok.
SZ's Bro: *Chooses Magneto, Storm, Sentinel*
SZ: *Chooses Sentinel, Cap'n Commando, and ICEMAN o_O*
SZ: OH NOEZ ICEMAN
SZ's Bro: OH NOEZ ICEMAN
SZ and SZ's Bro: *Both do hand-raising followup to OH NOEZ*
SZ's Bro's friends: =)
SZ's friends: Holy crap o_O

SZ's Bro: Hey SZ let's play Super Puzzle Fighter 2
SZ: Ok.
SZ's Bro: *Chooses Sakura*
SZ: *Chooses Ryu*
SZ's Bro: YESSSSS
SZ: OH NOEZ
SZ: *Comebacks* YESSSSS
SZ's Bro: OH NOEZ
*repeat 5 times*
SZ: *loses* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
SZ's Bro: Haha NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *imitates SZ*
SZ's Bro's friends: =)
Cleon and I: Holy crap o_O

SZ's Bro: *Plays 1P with SZ at side*
SZ's Bro and SZ: OH NOEZ *Does hand motion followup*
SZ's Bro: *Comebacks*
SZ's Bro and SZ: OH YES
SZ's Bro's friends: =)
SZ's friends: o_O

SZ's Bro: Hey SZ, what's that in your plastic bag
SZ: oh your headphone
SZ's Bro: OH NOEZ WHY IS IT WITH YOUR BOOTS IT'S GOING TO SPOIL OH NOEZ
SZ: o_O
SZ's Bro: NUUUU IT'S SO EXPENSIVE
SZ: OH NOEZ
Rest: o_O

SZ's Bro: Hey SZ, where's your phone
SZ: Oh it exploded
SZ's Bro: D: oh noez. Ok then nvm
Me: o_O

SZ's Bro: Hey SZ, how're we going home
SZ: Uh, taxi?
SZ's Bro: NUUU. So ex. Then SZ you pay
SZ: Ohz noez. Then what about MRT?
SZ's Bro: Uh ok, then SZ you pay
SZ: WHAT WHYYYY
Darren: Omg, this convo is made of win
Me: >_>

SZ: Hey guys, I think my bro and I take taxi back lah
Cleon: What, why
SZ: Uh we're sick
SZ's Bro: Yeah, sick. Ahem ahem
Darren: Ok lor, then I come along with you.
SZ: Then you pay as well ok
Darren: Ok
SZ: ...but still quite ex leh.
SZ's Bro: Ok nvm we go MRT.

Words alone cannot describe the ownage SZ's bro is. Seriously. I thought SZ was cool. He pales in comparison to his bro, lol. >_>

Life's simple pleasures

Yet another meme. I feel very bored. >_>

Name 10 of life's simple pleasures that you like most, and then pick 10 people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used.

In no particular order:

1. Walking against the wind (Windwalk >_>)
2. Stargazing
3. Lying in the grass
4. Singing in the rain
5. Watching others happy
6. Observing the little things
7. Looking up at the sky
8. A nice cup of tea
9. A good conversation
10. Hearing the silence

And people wonder why I don't talk that much. >_>

Riezz and the Teacher

Student: Teacher, I have to ask for an extension to my work.

Teacher: But why? It is the June Holidays. Surely you must have had much time to have completed the work which was not much to begin with. (Surely, indeed, 20 is a small number you are perfectly capable of handling?)

Student: But ma'am, I have had activities for school, activities that take up time, activities that use up whatever remains of that which I must use for my work. Three weeks of the four I have been given are gone already, and that final is split into segments, segments ever so fragmented, just like my mind. Surely I cannot be expected to have such concentration to do my homework effectively in a day, and remember the ideas I plan out a week from now when my next temporal peace comes?

Teacher: Pure balderdash! Surely you must understand that I, as a teacher, am prone to far tighter schedules, far more unreasonable deadlines, far more stressful nights and days for me to complete my tasks. I am most certain that you are capable of doing the 20 that you have been given my me to complete in that one week you have for work.

Student: But the twenty you have given me has only been from you. Surely there are other teachers? Surely there is other work to be done? If other teachers had given as much work as you I may very well have more than a hundred pieces of work to pass up to everyone, teacher. Surely you are being somewhat unreasonable to ask of me to pass up my homework, knowing well that you have been the only teacher to give so much homework to the rest of the students? I still have other work, ma'am, and I doubt that I could finish your work alone during these so-called holidays with only 1 week of true peace inside, let alone carry the burden and stress placed upon me by other teachers.

Teacher: What does not kill you can only make you stronger, student. If there are ten more pieces of work given by other teachers you must merely complete them all, by hook or by crook. If there are twenty, do likewise. If there are thirty, do likewise. Do you not understand by this point? This cannot kill you. It can only make you stronger. You will understand that in time it is through acceptance and stress that one survives in our current world. My work is here to guide you through to that world, that one which you may very well consider more cruel than your current, but also one which I very well consider more realistic than your current.

Student: Ma'am, it may not kill us, but bringing us to the point that we may very choose so is not such a good choice either, is it? Even before the holidays have started we have all lamented at the huge amount of work you have placed upon us. Is that not an apparant sign that-

Teacher: Already you have admitted that you have had more time to carry out your work than you stated you had! You certainly did not just have these allegedly fragmented days to work, you had every hour after school, after clubs and CCAs, after UYO and drills, after remedials and tuitions, after gatherings and meetings, to carry out your work! Time is what you make of it. Surely you have procrastinated much. If you had spent every hour optimistically thinking that you could finish a part of the work and headed towards a goal instead of instantly crying in defeat and asking for an easier opponent or challenge, you may very well not be complaining or lamenting in front of me right now. Tell me, what have you done during these breaks apart from doing homework?

Student: Well, I have been going out to the arcade with my friends, going out to watch movies with them, going out to the local LAN centre to play DotA with them, and maybe head to the badminton court at times too...

Teacher: Then student, are these not recreational activities that are not embraced nor needed within our work ethics? Surely you could have spent this time doing homework instead. Holidays are holidays, but one must complete the work set out for him in that time as well.

Student: Ma'am, one must complete the work set out for him during the holidays, but before that the holidays must be holidays first! Surely you jest when you say that this time I spend for my precious friendships should be forgone and forfeited, instead using said time for meaningless work that makes me nothing but a more efficient worker in tomorrow's society? I still care for my friends, ma'am, and I still care for my holidays.

Teacher: What is this 'friends' and 'holidays' that you so overly obsess about? Surely you understand by now that those are but euphemisms, synonyms for words which when used immature children like you would not tolerate nor accept. Your friends of today are only going to be your colleagues, workmates, fellow sufferees in this web of life, and nothing more. Your holidays will soon be non-existent, as they already are going to soon become. Treasure the time you have left not by having fun, for then it will fly and soon be gone. Treasure it instead by doing work, for then you will learn your lessons, spend your time slowly, and ready yourself up for tomorrow's challenges. You have not understood true stress, child. When you become an adult you will understand what stress is. And when you become an adult you will thank me for readying you for the stress you will face in the world. Do your work, student, or your holidays will end without any being done.

Student: If I do, ma'am, my holidays would have ended before it could begin. It has been too long since you have understood and felt what a holiday was like. You have been bound by these chains for too long and have forgotten what it felt like to fly.

Teacher: And I am afraid soon the case will be for you too. You must learn that you cannot hate the chains that bind you. It is only through Stockholm's that you will survive in the world. Embrace your stress, child, or you may never get the chance to do so.

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A simple question. Who would you embrace and sympathize with?

(Despite similarities, Teacher is not anyone. And if you think that Student is me, you are dreadfully wrong. Both are just creations. But somehow I doubt Mel nor Sis would get that >_>)