Friendships

My title for my blogpost is Friendships, but none of you can read it anyway. Which is good since some of my previous blogposts have had somewhat random titles >_>

Why this, despite all that I've talked about in my posts about it some time ago? In fact, this is probably one topic my blog talks about the most, isn't it?

SZ: Herr, why can you say such cruel things about Zhang? (When I said that his happiness was insensitive and also an effect of Kevin)
Me: I say what I want, when I want, where I want, and I will defend my statement. (Damn, that's like one of those statements I use alot now isn't it.)

*Go onto bus, and Mike and I talk for a while about the meaning of life. We both conclude that there isn't the meaning of life, but rather a meaning of life. Amusingly Mike feels that it's possible to have multiple meanings of life. SZ interrupts.*

SZ: Herr, can I ask something? Why do you say that Zhang's happiness was caused by Kevin?
Me: In my opinion, his happiness
SZ: No, I meant WHY you said that.
Me: Hmm. That's my opinion I guess. Is there any other reason for that? Like I said. I say what I want, when I want, where I want. I will defend my statement.

SZ: But wouldn't that hurt his feelings?
Me: I can say that you're a nice guy, but I'll also say that you're retarded. Does that hurt your feelings?
SZ: No.
Me: I also say that you're stupid.
SZ: No.
Me: And also a loser. Doesn't that hurt your feelings?
SZ: No, but that's different!
Me: In what way? In fact, my statement to you is more insulting than my statement to Zhang.

SZ: But you shouldn't say such things right?
Me: I say what I want about my friends whenever I want. It's my opinion, and I feel that if I can't even say my own opinion that's pretty much manipulation, isn't it? I feel that Zhang's pretty insensitive in his actions, so I say it, no?
Me: Friends, in my opinion, aren't people who condone your actions and do nothing about it, because that's equivalent to encouragement. They're people who tell you what's wrong with you, and try to help you change it.
SZ: But people have their own way of doing things, right?

Me: If people don't know their own problems, they won't change. Let me tell you about Jeremy before he went into Sec 1 to use as an example.
Mike and I: *Tells SZ about JK in P4/5 and P6. Particularly Mrs.Karen Wong's bringing out the immense change in JK and making him not a crybaby anymore.*
Me,SZ and Mike: *Talks abit about JK, and about the people who let him be himself so as to make fun of him, etc.*
Me: If there's something wrong with someone, my question is this: Why tolerate it?

*Bus Stop comes, I leave.*

Mike continued talking with SZ abit, about how Zhang's happiness is different from Kev's, and what their source of happiness was.

Well, at least that's something like how the conversation went.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kev's (Could be either, could be both.) pic is now a photograph of both of them with the words "Friends Forever" in orange text on it.

Guess it isn't my style to say 'Friends Forever'. When friends who say that break apart, it's worse because it's like just yesterday when they said that promise.

I dunno, I quite fear that feeling, but I know that my friends, whether or not they still are, are people I will treasure. I still remember Jonathon's phone number after 7 years (He moved house in P1 to Signature Park): 64684559. It was the only number I ever called before P2, and probably I'm going to remember it for a long time.

In spite of all that, we really all are quite paranoid about our friends, no? Yet I still can say this:

SZ: Where does your happiness come from?
Me: Me, huh. My happiness, I suppose, comes from the fact that I could be alone, and I can have faith that someone out there is still thinking of me.
Me: That something has been done due to me. That people can remember me due to me being me.
Me: No matter where I am, I can always know that I still have friends I can trust in. Friends I can have conflicts with yet never go beyond the point of no return. Friends that will be friends when I need friends.
SZ: omg sophisticated >_<""" lol, hmm.
Me: Haha. That's me, all right.

Perhaps, my trust in my friends may not pay off in the end. Perhaps, they will really backstab me and kill me in my sleep. Perhaps, they will return my loyalty with betrayal, and friendship with hate. Perhaps, they really never were much of a friend to me.

But I will still remember the good times we had, and though revenge is bittersweet dish best served cold, perhaps it isn't the best appetizer to fill oneself. Rather, it is the memories, the sentimentality, and love you used to share in the past, that makes you look at the new person, and cry to his or her change. But in the end, you have to accept it, but never forget what he or she used to be.

To be forgotten, perhaps, really is worse than death after all, eh?