白く途切れた夢の切れ端をつかまえて 少年は走る
手を放したらどこまでも遠く風の音に消えてゆく
ひとつだけの思いを飛ばして
まぶたの裏に描きはじめた絵は霞んで 手のひらでこすっても
いつか見えた優しさはもうない
ひとり踏み出す足だけ見てる
朝には消えたあの歌声をいつまでも聞いてた
野道の先で赤く生るほうずきせがんで 子供がはしゃいでる
いつか知った優しさの中にも
同じ風景 あるならいいね
朝には消えたあの歌声をいつまでも聞いてた
僕らが残したあの足跡をいつまでも追ってた
朝には消えたあの歌声をいつまでもいつまでも
僕らが残したあの足跡をどこまでも追ってた
そう終わりは別れとあるものだから すべて置いてゆく
朝には日差しの中 新しい歌、口ずさんでる
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Translation:
A young boy catches a fragment of a dream interrupted and away he runs
If he lets go, it will vanish to the strains of a distant wind
One single memory floating away
The scene half-drawn behind my eyelids is fading
Even when I rub them with my palm
The tenderness I once glimpsed is no longer there
I look only at the foot falling in front of me
I'd been forever listening to the singing of a voice that vanished in the morning.
Ahead on the path through the field, a child is frolicking snatching at the red Hoozuki plants
In the midst of the gentleness I once knew, I hope the scenery remains the same
I'd been forever listening to the singing of a voice that vanished in the morning
Forever chasing after the foot prints we left behind
Such an ending is the stuff of farewells, and so I leave everything behind
In the sunlight of morning, I sing a new song to myself
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These days I'm just feeling oversentimental again, thanks to certain people. Curse yee all >_>
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Naughty has disappeared, coming and acquainting himself with the family, and just suddenly disappearing. I wonder where he is right now; given him he's probably going where no cat has gone before (Which probably consists of a lot of places, given how timid cats are *Him being an obvious exception, haha*), or being the centre of attention among more fellas, haha.
...I wonder if I'll be so lighthearted when a friend disappears. Well, I'll find out in a few year's time, haha. >_>
I've had a liking for things like the wind; that which comes and goes; none knowing its destination but all knowing their meeting in its journey. One can only bear true value of another when s/he can be lost; and one can only realize this when s/he does. Up till now, I've made many regrets in regards to people I've known:
Jonathan, Feng Yi, Ke Xin, Shamus, Stephen, and more. Jonathan was the very first friend I had, and we were good friends up till P1, when he moved house to Signature Park. 8 years past, and I still remember his phone number; 4684559 ('course now we need the 6 in front too. Memories of when we didn't, huh.) Back then, we played many various games, and loved to see the sheep demo (That's what we called it) on his Macintosh (Or was it something else? I never asked him what his com's OS was, primarily because I didn't know what an OS was >_>). I still remember how those sheep would bounce about randomly, walk around aimlessly, and eventually go off the screen just to return at the press of a button.
I still remember pushing him into the Pei Hwa pond by accident (I still don't know whether I pushed him unintentionally, or he fell in. I apologized in the end anyway, so little does this matter now), and how we said we weren't going to friend each other anymore, but then it ended up I apologized a few days after, haha. >_>
I still remember the first friend I made in P1: Angelica, she was such the sweet girl; she even remembered me in P3 after not seeing her one bit in P2.
I remember my teachers; Yu Lao Shi for Chinese and I believe CME (Otherwise known then as Hao Gong Ming ^_^), Ms. Low (She married during P2) for English and Math. I can hardly remember any other teacher; mainly because the timetable for P1 is amazingly slack. I slacked most the year and still got 96 Eng, 100 Math, and 90-something Chinese (I believe). I got 2nd in class, and 10th in level, somehow. XD
But back then, I never realized that this kind of experience would never exist again in my life, eh.
When I was P2, I remember fighting alongside Gid and YM against Caleb and Jireh (Speaking of which, they're JC1 this year, aren't they? Hmm, I wonder how they're doing.), remembering Gid crying, remembering YM crying, but never myself crying; I only remember them being worried about me. I remember Gid eating the Sausage in my Hotcakes with Sausage (It was my first time eating that too; prior to that I thought Hotcakes were sold with nothing else) because a number of us did well in a Math test, he wasn't XD
I remember how everyday in P2 till I left Pei Hwa, I would go to recess just to see Yu Min being kicked by 3 random girls in my class; and how he would call to me for help, and how I would actually join in kicking him at times. >_> All that said, in P4-6 he was seriously a smart fella that I certainly looked up to. Gid I treated with less respect and was more friendly towards because he was mostly joking around in P4, and I wasn't with him P5/6. I didn't really get along much with Jarrel in P4-6, interestingly.
In P3, we would have that simple but fun game during recess: two lines of people, each at one end of a stone path. One person from each side runs up, and when they clash, they play Scissors-Paper-Stone, and the loser moves aside for the winner to continue running and clash with the next person, up till someone has managed to go to the other side (It could go on for rather long, honestly.) I originally didn't really play that, instead I was playing catching with people like Ching To (He was such teh nice yet cool fella), Edmund, and usually we would make fun of Jing Hua as well. >_>
"Rain alert! Rain alert! Get back!" - Jing Hua, 2000. >_> Oh, the amusement.
I remember being ever so grateful to Feng Yi, because after all, she was really a great person. How she didn't end up as head prefect and only vice-head prefect was something that confused me. Another one was how she didn't get into GEP. Had she, I probably would be in Chinese High right now, haha. *sigh* wonder where she is now, heh.
Honestly, I wouldn't value these people as much as I do now had I not lost them. But now, what can I do? I can only remember the Jonathan of 8 years ago, the Feng Yi of 6, the Ke Xin of 4, and that was the most obvious thing that happened with Melissa; I only remembered the Melissa from 2 years ago.
Even though I have the phone number for Jonathan, I fear picking it up and calling him, to reach a wrong number, or even worse, to have someone who cannot remember me reply.
"To be forgotten is worse than death." Freya, FFIX
And what of those I search for but cannot find? Those which I will no longer be able to see, greet, and reminiscize about old days? I regret not the actions I take; but the actions I was unable to take. I've never managed to thank Feng Yi or Ke Xin for being so nice to me, and when I go back to Pei Hwa, they are no longer there, and neither is the Pei Hwa I used to know. And in the end, when all is done and finished, I have but memories but nothing else, myself and no one else, and even if the rest are gone, I am still there with nothing but memories of them being there with me.
Here's one for you (You know who you are =) : Who's got it worse; one who has everything but memories, or one who has nothing but memories? One who always changes to others and loses himself, or one who adamantly remains the same, staying true to himself but never to others? One who loses none but himself, or one who loses all but himself?
Human lives are such like the wind, it comes, and you feel the gentle breeze and lay in comfort, but soon and sudden is it gone and you look far out, never to see it again.
A breeze can only be appreciated when it is not constant like the artificial fan, by which you grow used to and willingly stop on your own. It is because the wind is so sudden, so swift, so hard to get, yet so gentle nonetheless, that it is so beautiful.
I may not be sad at their disappearance, but I will definitely remember the times of those who have touched my life, for it is what I can do in place of the tears I cannot cry. Each life is beautiful, but one only appreciates the wind when it is gone, not when it is blowing.
And even when my wings are broken; I shall keep them eternally, for they still bear the meaning and the memories of when it could, because of the others
"朝には消えたあの歌声をいつまでもいつまでも
僕らが残したあの足跡をどこまでも追ってた
そう終わりは別れとあるものだから すべて置いてゆく
朝には日差しの中 新しい歌、口ずさんでる"
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