Monday, October 22, 2007

A Message To An Ex-Friend

Riezz: Saisell Rumerl, the outcast. Left from the Academy?

Saisell: Indeed I have. As much as I respect and hold the place in high regard, I feel that I had no choice but to leave for a better place.

Riezz: And where would you find this better place, Saisell?

Saisell: Where there is peace, o traveller, where I can write in peace.

Riezz: And where will you find this peace, Saisell?

Saisell: Where there are my kind, o jest, where I can be with my kind.

Riezz: And where will you find your kind, Saisell?

Saisell: Why do you continue?

Riezz: Because you realize that you can no longer answer the question so easily.

Saisell: I do suppose I need to give such an issue more thought, but such thought has little bearing considering I will be leaving anyway.

Riezz: Do tell on that thought, then.

Saisell: It's culture. I don't fit in. I find myself more comfortable with those from elsewhere, and yet I can't even feel remotely at ease with those nearby me. It's like every word of mine here is judged for lies. Can you live in this suffocating environment?

Riezz: Do you even make an effort to fit in? Or perhaps you are among those who complain but do naught?

Saisell: What jest do you speak, Riezz? Have I not joined their councils, societies, and their mockeries of clubs? Is that not the effort made to associate with them, and the same effort that is completely ignored and rejected? Whatever I have done for these groups they have not reciprocated.

Riezz: Your friends?

Saisell: Few, but they are important. They are the only few in the entire academy I feel comfortable talking with, and I think it were the greatest loss that I fail to have more time with them.

Riezz: ...I apologize for my crudeness. I have my doubts whether vice versa should apply.

Saisell: Hmm?

Riezz: Look at those photos. Look at these councils you are a part of. Look at your face amongst them, amongst the smiling ones. Have you ever heard people angry about it?

Saisell: Should I care about the worthless opinions of those fools?

Riezz: You should care about their eyes. The eyes of those that stare at you while you nonchalantly continue talking, being a bother while in the presence of others. Look at these photos. Look at your smile, and the smiles of others. Now look at their eyes. Look at your smile. Do you know the curses, the tears, the depth of emotions caused by that smile and for that smile?

Riezz: You probably don't, do you. Never knowing when to stop, never knowing when to keep out, never knowing when you are a nuisance... pathetically ungracious, don't you think so?

Saisell: You speak highly unlike your usual self, Riezz.

Riezz: For circumstances highly unlike human sense. Forget this. You wouldn't understand a single bit of this, Saisell. But mark, you will never find your peace.

Saisell: And at least they may never find theirs with me around. It works either way.

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