Monday, January 05, 2009


It has been a most interesting way to begin the year.

I've had messages and signs constantly coming into my life. Though I suppose the first one was last December, I've had 3 consecutive messages over the days as of recent (Technically 4, but one's a bit of a lesser message.) and 4 in total (Technically 5 for aforementioned reasons)

The first message was predominantly a message from the past. It was a message to kill off a past me in the hopes that a new self would come around and take over for 2009. A message from a present self about an old self to my present self (potentially mistaken as my old self) and a most interesting one indeed. A painful message, bittersweet in nature, and perhaps a bit of underlying reminiscence and nostalgia and thankfulness. It was a message that signalled to me that 2009 was definitely coming and I was definitely in need of changing. That the old self was undesirable in some sense of the word and that something new was required to take over. Perhaps it was the first message to bring me to the current state that I am at this current point in time.

The second message is a queer one, and in retrospect a rather ironic and comical one. It was a message that whether or not I had changed, there would be aspects of me that stayed. Certain things I was capable of. Things that people could see. Talents, flaws, capabilities and the rest of the character package. Though I admit I've tried to escape from such responsibilities once, I suppose such things come back to haunt me. Is it a curse or a blessing or a mere reminder? The message is certainly a queer one, and one that brings with it new responsibilities, possibilities and perspectives to bring for the new year. A most interesting message brought from the present world to my present self.

The third message was a beautiful celebration, a most wonderful ceremony. In this message I learnt for myself what true love was for other people, or at the very least my interpretation of such. I realized what it was like for someone to truly love another person. It was pure, most unlike the kinds of love I had seen prior. An exaggeration perhaps, but the message was a lucid one to me. It was a message towards my present self; a message that brought understanding to the idea and concept I had so mistakenly thought of prior. The message also showed to me that time passes by ever so quickly, but human ties do not break so easily. It taught me that people outside of occupation are people, that everyone is human and everyone can partake in celebration and happiness in such a beautiful event. And in a sense, it taught me to be patient as life shall eternally provide. A beautiful message from the present world to myself and the world that lies before me - a present from the past for the future.

The fourth message is the most ambiguous, vague and troubling one. It was a message on faith, on social inertia, and on motivations. It was a message from the past to the present, from the present to the future, and from the future to the current self. All this caused by the past. It was a message that required a reply from me, at least mentally and spiritually. No doubt, a difficult message to deal with. It spoke of the past and the change to the present. It spoke of the changes of the present and the potential changes towards the future. And most importantly, it posed a very important message to me - that the people around me had answers towards the potential changes towards the future, and these answers in themselves were changes towards the future. No doubt I would have to join them and take a stand as to what change towards the future I would have to take.

The fifth and final message is one mystical in nature. It is an abstract message, one in reference to my present and my future (the latter particularly). A series of predictions, perhaps. One more reliable than Darrell's bugger rickroll at the very least. This message provided quite a bit of food for thought for me. Why? I can provide no clear answer. Was it because it gave an interesting outlook on the future? Was it because it gave a very reasonable and expectable outlook on it? I am unsure at current. But there is something particularly interesting in the message bearer - a lovelorn lady. What were her thoughts on it? What kind of life does she think I - and everyone else - will lead? Will I ever meet these people again? I am unsure. But as vague and out-of-line it might have been with the future, it has been disturbingly accurate with regards to the present.

Another story for the implications of them, but they are most interesting messages to start a year with indeed.

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