Why do I want to take the PPS Course at Cambridge?
It is perhaps a natural result of the person that I have turned into - an observer more so than a participater.
But if you asked me, I do not have the clear interest that certain peers around me do. I do not have the flair that Jarrel has for the sciences, the dedication and passion that Jonny bears for geology, and the natural capabilities for the humanities that one like Shiru would have.
As it is, I could perhaps be at an impasse. Yet I am somehow geared towards this path. Why?
There are reasons I cannot write about. Reasons I cannot write about not because I must keep a secret, but because they are not there - I have yet to find them. Therefore we do away with them. What then, then, of the reasons that I CAN write about? Few that are particularly palatable, I would say.
The first perhaps is just general curiosity. I'm sure my peers would say that I am generally well-versed on the subjects I take (though I dare not say that I am proficient at any), and my interest in psychology and sociology may just be a curiosity pick for me.
The second perhaps is boredom. I cannot say that I bear a very strong interest in any of the subjects I currently undertake. Sufficient interest is there (perhaps more than some other students have towards any subject) but certainly none strong enough to hold a future. What then serves as a guarantee that I will undertake any university degree with the courage, determination and (dare I say it) enamored approach I had towards my current subjects? None.
Well, then, these don't make for very palatable reasons, nor very justified ones for taking sociology or psychology as a degree in a university, do they? Perhaps, despite what everyone says, a university life is not cut out for one like me! An entirely possible scenario.
The issue gets worsened when you realize the fact that sociology, psychology and cultural anthropology, for all their similarities, aren't that similar. They aren't terms which can be interchanged so freely, yet I should believe I have been doing so in a rather careless and perhaps desecratory manner. It is... an unhealthy behaviour, to say the least. I should be more clear with what I say and say that I am more interested in sociology than in psychology, though not to the extent where I would say I am extremely interested in cultural anthropology. I must unfortunately admit that that statement makes me feel like I am once again taking some form of middle-ground stance to this. Perhaps I am.
(...derp I really shouldn't write on a Gin and Tonic. Midori Tonics work fine but I guess Gin's twice as strong and twice as annoying when it comes to hindering you.)
It is ever so much easier to shoot yourself down than to pick yourself up. I guess that's why personal statements are so hard to write, aren't they?
...and unfortunately the writing of this blogpost has yet to bring me closer to writing a good personal statement. Le sigh. The occasional feverish feeling on my forehead and cheeks gets to me after a while. I guess I do have to sleep for now.